My End and My Beginning
by Jess Gaskell
Summary: What if you had a chance to go back and redo the worse decisions you ever made? With a second chance, can Amelia Shepard overcome her demons and finally bring the cycle to an end? Follow her as she forms the relationships that will give her something to truly fight for.
1. Chapter 1 - Penance

**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

**A/N: ** Hey guys, this is my first ever fan fiction so go easy on me! This is my twist on the ending of Mass Effect 3. As a reader I'm a big fan of the Shep romance stories so although it won't be the main plot focus, I do plan to have some in this some point down the line.

I need to say a huge thanks to elmjuniper for encouraging me to start writing in the first place and for beta reading once I did! If you haven't already discovered her work you def need to go take a look!

Thanks for taking the time to read and I'd love to see reviews if you like what you read!

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><p><strong><span>Penance<span>**

She turned and looked at her choices; bad, worse and worst...of course.

_Did you expect it to be easy?!_

_No... _

_Making the impossible decisions is what you do so get on with it._

She sighed, when she thought about it, the decision wasn't all that hard; synthesis...what gave her the right to forcibly change the genome of the entire galaxy.

_That just takes hubris to a level even The Illusive Man hadn't considered! _The thought of TIM drew a chuckle, she couldn't deny putting that bullet in his head felt even more satisfying than she'd imagined it would.

She looked to her left, control..._no never!_

_Why not?_

_Because that's what he would have done, and we both know how much I love to piss him off._

_But he's dead..._

When it came to Cerberus all level of reasoning seemed to go out the window. She thought back to all the decisions she'd made just because she knew it would piss TIM off. Activating Legion, opening Grunts tank, helping Jack blow up Pragia and let's not forget refusing to help Jacob or Miranda with their personal issues. Then the biggies... destroying the collector base and turning the SR2 over to the Alliance. Safe to say she'd made a hobby out of pissing The Illusive Man off.

She smirked, four billion dollar pain in his ass.

_So you're dismissing an option completely purely to piss off a dead man?_

_Pretty much, yeah..._

_Immature much?_

_Totally!_

So, destroy it is...

She scoffed at the irony. She had sacrificed the Quarians in favour of the Geth's assistance in the war; now the end solution would mean genocide for the Geth anyway.

She took a deep breath to steel herself, why was this so hard? She'd died before; she had nothing more to lose now that she'd had two and a half years ago...the moment she thought it she knew it was a mistake. It was true, she'd become an expert at blocking everything and everyone out.

_If you don't feel, you can't hurt._..

As she was about to refocus on the task ahead, a light at the back of her mind caught her attention. She moved towards it, she could see it getting bigger and brighter with every step she took. When she realised where the light was coming from she froze. She stared on at the sight in front of her; the wall she had so skilfully built all those years ago was coming apart brick by brick in front of her eyes.

Something came into view behind the hole, a familiar face; one she hadn't dared look upon for sixteen years.

_No, this isn't possible. You have a job to do...walk away, ignore her!_

But she couldn't take her eyes off the innocent young face, long copper hair and emerald green eyes staring back at her.

Then she saw one of the bricks fly straight for her. As it connected with her right shoulder, she was floored by the image that hit her.

_Virmire: Ashley and Kaidan standing behind Wrex as she tried to reason with him over Saren's cloned Krogan. Then a bang, the bullet ripped through the centre of the Krogan's skull and sailed passed her shoulder blood and grey matter splattering her armour. She'd felt for the Krogan, they'd had a rough deal. If only she'd taken time to ease Ashley's concerns about the aliens._

Another brick hit her square in the chest.

_The collector base: Doctor Chakwas inside the pod, the terror in her eyes having watched Kelly liquefied, knowing she was next, pleading her to open the pod...not enough time, watching her dissolve before her eyes._

They kept coming, brick by brick memory by memory.

_The Citadel: stand staring down the barrel of her gun trained on Kaidan, his gun in return on her. The life faded from his eyes as he died in her arms, at her hand. A standoff that should never have happened; if he'd known her better, trusted her, it might have been avoided._

_Rannoch: Tali removes her mask and gracefully falls to her death; the pain of the end of her people too much to bear._

Without warning the rest of the wall burst open and she was hit by a tidal wave of emotions; sixteen years worth of grief, sorrow, guilt and regret flooding her mind, body and soul. She felt the air pushed from her lungs, she tried to fight it, to swim to the surface, but she was paralyzed mentally and physically.

Something drew her consciousness to the surface, a voice. She focused on the spectral child next to her, trying to ignore the incapacitating war being waged within her.

"You're time is at an end. You must decide," the child said.

"I...I c-can't." Was all she could manage.

"So be it," the child boomed. "The cycle continues," and with that he was gone.

As the Reapers continued to decimate the galaxy around her, she closed her eyes and gave in to the inevitable doom that awaited her.

She had failed; failed herself, her family, the galaxy. She hadn't realised it then, but now she saw it so clearly; she failed the day she built the wall. This was her penance and she welcomed it...

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Chapter 2 - The Three

**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

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><p><strong><span>The Three<span>**

"It goes against EVERYTHING we swore on when we began the project!" He made no effort to hide his anger and dismay at what she suggested, how could they even contemplate this?

"What else can we do? Do you honestly feel this is how it should end…I can't just stand by and watch it again, I just can't," she said, her words coated with pain and desperation.

"Why now? We've watched the same happen cycle upon cycle, why her?"

"Because there has never before been one as capable. In all those cycles none have achieved close to what she has," she said with conviction and certainty.

"But she failed; it is no different from the previous cycles. How many times will you step in before you see, there would be no need for intervention if she truly was special?" His frustration seeped through his words.

"She came so much further than any before her. You know she has the potential, if she'd only been able to find the strength on that day." She was almost pleading for him to hear her, to understand. There was something so inspirational about this human, how could they let this opportunity go?

"Did you not meddle enough when you made her resurrection possible?"

She should have known he would throw that back at her. "I have already apologised for not consulting you both on that."

"But not for doing it."

"No, it was necessary; as is this." She refused to back down, until The First opposed her she would stand her ground. "You cannot tell me you consider these results acceptable! This is NOT how it should end, it can't be. We have to do something!" uncontrollable anger tore through her words; how could he see this as an acceptable outcome, how could he be so detached from the project they had put so much into for so long?

"Enough!" The First bellowed, sending an echo through the empty space with a commanding air. Until now she had stayed silent, absorbing the opinions laid out before her. She couldn't argue this wasn't how they'd imagined it would turn out so many millennia ago.

The human was special, so much potential, of that there was doubt. But was action the right course? Could they really justify intervention? They had put the rules in place for a reason. "IF we did intervene, how do you propose we go about it?"

A ray of hope, she was willing to listen. She took a moment to compose herself; she knew the future of the project rode on her words. "We must not control her; that would make us no better than the Leviathans or the Reapers. Support, go back to the worse day of her life and help her see the strength within, the strength she could not see alone that day. The choices would still be hers; they would have to be."

She took a moment to consider the proposition, there had never before been one such as this human, even at her weakest she achieved so much. If the cycle continued another may never come, which would force their hand to take much more drastic measures or end the project altogether.

Yes this was against their rules, but it was pre-emptive damage control. "That is…an acceptable solution. But it must be the only form of intervention; if it fails, if nothing changes, then so be it."

Joy filled her heart, she had barely dared to hope The First would agree. "I will happily be her..."

"No. You are too attached, I cannot trust you will be restrained. I take this task upon myself." She looked upon them both, "Is that clear? Are we in agreement?" a simple nod from both the figures in front of her and the biggest decision since the day it all began was made.

**To Be Continued...**

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><p><strong>AN: **Hey guys, hope you're still liking MEMB. Please review away as I'd love to know what you guys think! Thanks again to elmjuniper for your awesome support, you're a legend!


	3. Chapter 3 - Angels and Demons

**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

**A/N:**Hey guys,

I'd just like to say a big thank you to all who have read, commented, favorited and followed! It's great to hear what people think and I'm glad you are as intrigued as I am to see where this story will take us.

Once again a lots of love sent to my slave driver and beta reader **elmjuniper**. If you haven't already definitely go check out her stories!

Happy reading, hope you like this new update!

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><p><strong><span>Angels and Demons<span>  
><strong>

Opening her eyes, she tried to focus her mind; damn that was a hellish nightmare! She tried to roll over, a searing pain shooting through her right shoulder forced a hiss from her lips. Then it hit her..._No! It can't be real, please God say it's not real._

She'd never believed in God, her parents had made sure her and her sisters were well educated in all religions and beliefs, but they were not themselves religious. But in that moment, for the first time in her 16 years of existence, she prayed, to anyone, anything that would listen...please let me wake up, let this be a terrible dream.

Movement in the room pulled her out of her prayer and back to reality, the survival instincts that had kept her alive for the past four days kicked back in charge and she froze. She flattened herself as best she could to the floor, blocking out the pain in her shoulder that protested at the movement. She did her best to control her breathing, she had to stay calm or her biotics might flare and give her away. She was certainly regretting not listening to her dad now.

Her inclination to biotics had manifested quickly after the colony's element zero refinery explosion, two years earlier. Her dad had been supportive, encouraging her to embrace her newly acquired abilities. But she was stubborn; she knew embracing her biotics would result with her being sent to BAat or _brain camp_ as the kids that went there called it. No, she was quite happy just pretending her biotics weren't there…until now.

She had a perfect view of the whole room from under the counter. She saw movement in the far right of the room. She gripped the shotgun she still had pressed against her leg, not that it would do her much good if there were more than two targets. Two shots left, she cursed herself for not going back to her house to get her dad's back up. But she couldn't, she couldn't revisit the scene that had greeted her when she had finally made it back to their house three days earlier.

She blocked it out, being a scared little girl wasn't going to get her out of this alive, although she wasn't really sure why she even wanted to, what was the point? Her girlfriend, her family, everyone...gone. But her survival mode didn't care about motivation and right now it was in charge.

Again there was movement from the door and suddenly she saw boots, but these were different boots to the ones she had been seeing for the last four days. She registered the colour of the armour of the boots' owners, it was blue...alliance blue. She knew that armour well, from her uncle's service.

Of the three of them, she had always been his favourite. Her sisters had no interest in armour and guns, but she loved it, and he loved that she loved it. Every time he was on leave, he'd take her to the shooting range, or if they went camping they'd use tin cans as targets. He taught her how to clean, care for and respect a gun. She'd never imagined all those fun bonding moments with him would be the key to her survival.

She tried to call out, but her voice wouldn't work, she tried to move, but her body protested, she was shutting down, going into shock.

The realisation that help had arrived had seemingly told her survival instincts they were no longer needed, allowing her thoughts, emotions and memories to fill the void. Suddenly she couldn't breathe; she was drowning, drowning in a sea of overwhelming grief.

A pair of boots, smaller boots without armour, headed in her direction, and she heard a woman's voice say something. Next thing she could see was the face of an angel - a woman - late 30s with brown hair and kind, moss green eyes, filled with concern and care.

"It's ok; we're not going to hurt you," the angel said in a crisp British accent.

"A-alliance?" was all she could manage to croak. The woman's features softened even more and she nodded.

"Yes dear, I'm a Doctor with the Alliance. My name is Karin, what's yours?" The angel spoke so softly, her words felt like a safe embrace.

But the grief was too much, she couldn't do this, she wasn't strong enough for this. Ice cold tendrils crept out from deep within her, pulling her away from the embrace, dragging her emotions back into a dark place she didn't even know existed.

She could see the wall skilfully being built around her; with every brick she added it became easier to breathe. There was no door or window in this wall, she was sure there would be no way out once it was built. Maybe that was best, put it all away, protect herself behind this impenetrable wall and block it all out. If she didn't the overwhelming pain she felt of her loss would surely consume her?

_If you don't feel, you can't hurt._ Yes, this would be better.

Then, as suddenly as it had started, the building stopped; as if someone had pressed pause. Out of nowhere an unknown voice spoke to her.

"_No, this is not the way," _the voice said with a regal air.

"_B-but I have to, it hurts, so much...I can't...," _she heard her own voice echo in her mind.

"_You can. You have to, they need you to, we need you to. You do this now, and there will be no going back. Trust her; she will keep you safe, they both will. Come, help me make a door." _She couldn't explain it, but an overwhelming desire to believe and trust this voice washed over her, so she did.

Refocusing on the Doctor she managed to croak "A-Amelia...my name is Amelia Shepard."

The doctor – Karin – smiled and said "That's a beautiful name."

"Thank you. My dad told me it means 'Work of the Lord'." A forlorn smile crept to her lips before being replaced by pure, unadulterated sorrow.

She felt a hand gently touch her arm and resisted the urge to pull away. She looked up at Karin, two pairs of green eyes locked. One, full of grief and hopelessness – one, full of comfort, and the promise of a future – and in that moment she found the strength she so desperately needed to push away the remnants of those ice cold tendrils.

"Amelia, I'm going to ask you to trust me, can you do that?" She took a deep breath – she could breathe again – she nodded at the doctor and then winced at the pain from her shoulder.

"Ok, carefully slide me the gun, I want to minimise the risk of a miss fire while we get you out from under there." Hesitating for a second she reluctantly slid the gun towards the doctor who cleared it away behind her. The doctor then turned her head and called across her shoulder.

"Lieutenant Commander Anderson, we have an injured survivor over here! I need help getting her out from under this workstation." She turned back to Amelia and said "I think you've broken your collar bone and I want to reduce your movement so we'll move this workstation instead, ok?"

"Ok" Amelia said in almost a whisper, she was so exhausted now she couldn't have argued if she'd wanted to.

She heard more than saw, several pairs of large boots rush over to them; after some muffled talking that she couldn't make out, her cover – her safe haven for the last 2 days – was lifted up and out of sight.

"Lord, Karin, she's only a child, how the hell did she survive?!" a bassy American voice whispered.

"I have no idea, David, but she's a fighter, that's for sure." There was a hint of sorrow and admiration rolled together in the doctor's voice. "We need to get her onto the stretcher as gently as possible; she's been through enough pain to last a lifetime. Lift on 3...," the doctor addressed the marines.

She didn't feel the pain as she was lifted onto the stretcher, although she was sure there must have been some. All she focused on was the rhythmic rise and fall the doctor's voice made as she reassured her she would take care of her. She gave in to unconsciousness, just after they entered the shuttle...her part was done... for now.

**To Be Continued...**


	4. Chapter 4 - Life As She Knew It

**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

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><p><span><strong>Life As She Knew It<strong>

Beep...beep...beep...

_Ugh god my head. _

Beep...beep...beep...

_What the hell is that annoying beep? _

Beep...beep...beep...

_Wait, where am I?_

She tried to get her bearings as consciousness slowly greeted her. What was the last thing she could remember?

-o-

_The movie theatre; Hailey had got back from their family holiday the day before and they had arranged a date at the movies. Her mum had made her take her sisters along; the irritating thirteen year old cling-ons...just what she wanted on a date with her girlfriend she hadn't seen in two weeks._

"_But mum, I'm going with Hailey, we're going to see a fifteen rated movie...they won't get in."_

"_Well then you shouldn't have bailed on them for the last two weeks should you? You and your friend will just have to go see something else that the girls can watch won't you."_

_Friend...she told her parent's she was gay when she was fourteen, two years later and her mum still referred to her girlfriend as 'a friend'. One of many reasons they never seemed to connect. It was like her mum didn't even want to understand the person her daughter was growing up to be. She was pretty sure her mum thought it was just a phase and still expected her to grow out of it._

_So here they were, about to watch a PG-13. Amelia looked at her girlfriend in the queue next to her, standing happily chatting away to her sisters. She knew Hailey had also been looking forward to their date and was clearly disappointed when she rang and told her of her mum's new plan. Yet you'd never guess it to look at her now, making the twins feel so welcome. How did I get so lucky?_

"_Baby, I'm just going to run to the bathroom, get me a popcorn and soda?" she kissed her girlfriend lightly on the lips and looked at her sisters "Behave!"_

"_Always," they chimed in unison...ugh, how that irritated her. Sometimes they were so in tune it was as if she had one sister not two: if only._

_She was just drying her hands when she heard the first screams, followed by a sound she knew all too well. The gun shots came fast and furious and she rushed out the door, without a second thought for her own safety._

_She entered the large foyer just in time to see Hailey's body slump to the floor beside her sisters' already lifeless bodies. Their executioner – a batarian – had a satisfied smirk on his face, that filled her with a boiling rage she had never before experienced._

_Before she realised what she was doing, her biotics were swirling around her as she sprinted at the batarian full pelt. With all the force she could muster she launched a biotic swirl at her target knocking him off balance and wrenching the shotgun from his hand. As the gun skidded across the floor, she took advantage of his unbalance and launched herself, shoulder first, into his torso, knocking him clean off his feet. She summoned what biotic power she had left, to pull the shotgun to her hand, and before the batarian knew what had hit him, she had blown his face off._

_She looked to her right and her knees buckled beneath her. Her beautiful Hailey, her innocent sisters, all lay in a pool of their own blood. She pulled Hailey to her, cradling her head in her lap. The once sparkling sapphire eyes of her girlfriend stared up at her, now empty, lifeless and cold. Her beautiful soul was gone. A blood curdling wail tore from her lips, as she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces and her life as she knew it changed irrevocably around her._

-o-

A tear rolled down her cheek as it all came flooding back to her; she fought the overwhelming current and pushed the memories back behind the door.

It was taking a lot of effort to open her eyes; wherever she was it was bright, which made it that little bit harder to focus. As her eyes adjusted, she could make out a figure walking towards her, bathed in light. As the figure got closer, the light created a halo effect…her angel.

"Hello Amelia, my name's Karin, do you remember me?"

Amelia tried to speak, but the words refused to leave her tongue, so she settled for a simple nod. A pain shot through her shoulder, although it wasn't as overpowering as before.

"Careful dear, you broke your collarbone and needed surgery to pin it. You'll need to minimise movement for a few weeks and then we will start with physical therapy."

The English angel lifted a straw to her lips and held the glass of water for her.

"Th-ank...you" Amelia managed to croak after sipping the water. "W-where?"

"You're on an Alliance medical transit; we're on our way to Vancouver, Earth."

"How long since…?" she fell silent, unable to say the words she was thinking.

"Since we found you? Four days, you were having some rather intense nightmares and thrashing around a lot in your sleep, so I sedated you to reduce damage to your shoulder. How do you feel?" The kind faced doctor sat in a chair beside her, clearly one that had been occupied for some time.

"Broken…" the word slipped from her lips without permission and a tear betrayed her fight for composure. What was it about this woman that made her unable to hide?

Karin leaned forward and gently stroked her cheek, wiping the tear away. She tried to fight it, but felt compelled to meet the doctor's gaze. As she looked into her eyes, she was surprised to see that it was not pity she found, but admiration, respect, compassion and an offer of strength.

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><p>As the physical therapist left, a nurse entered to tell Amelia that the psych evaluator was here to see her. She had been dreading this; she was at the mercy of some quack. If she opened up and told him the stuff she'd told Karin, she wouldn't be able to keep the composure she needed to show him, but if she clammed up, he'd think she was in denial. Either way she was screwed, and would surely be thrown into the system labelled as 'broken'.<p>

She'd wanted so many times, over the last few weeks, to ask Karin to let her stay with her, she felt so safe and at ease with her. But she knew Karin was a military career woman, as if she'd want some random kid hanging round her ankles, although a voice in the back of her head did keep nagging.

_Why would she still be here? Why would she come see you for hours every day if she didn't care?_

_Shut up, you're being stupid; she's just doing her job._

_Yeah I'm sure she visits all her patients that no longer need her care, for 2 hours every day…_

She took a deep breath, she still wasn't sure how she was going to deal with this quack, but either way, it was judgement day.

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><p>"You cannot just dump her into a children's psych facility; she'll get lost in the system and never recover." Karin made no attempt to hide her anger, in either her tone or body language. How could this clueless fool make such a damning decision on a young girl's life, after meeting with her just once.<p>

"She is clearly disturbed; most of the time she refused to disclose anything, and when she does it is in outbursts of rage. She threw me across the room with her biotics, she is volatile and far too unstable to put forward for fostering." His thick Canadian accent held a condescending and judgemental tone.

"_Disturbed? __She watched her family and most of her colony massacred, and had to resort to murder herself, to survive. Of course she's bloody disturbed, you pompous prat! And her outburst was your own _fault; what did you expect to accomplish by suggesting she could have done more to save her sisters and girlfriend?_ I demand a second opinion." She rarely swore, not even mildly and she name-called even less, but this imbecile was pushing all the wrong buttons._

"Well unluckily for you, you have no guardianship rights to request that. She is still a minor with no living relatives, therefore she is officially under the care of the Social Services Agency, for which I am her direct contact."

"_I_ could take her? We've connected, she would be safe with me," she was practically pleading with him.

"Yes, because a military doctor, who is regularly away on assignment for weeks on end, would provide a wonderfully stable and supportive environment, for such an unstable child…I suggest you say your goodbyes tonight, she will be moved first thing tomorrow morning. Good day Doctor."

Karin slumped into one of the chairs in the corridor and put her head in her hands. She couldn't let this happen, how could he do this to the poor girl? For reasons she could not fully explain, she had grown so attached to Amelia and cared for her so dearly already. Her breathing became uneven and tears threatened to crack her mask of calm.

"Karin?" She turned to see the teen she had spent the last three weeks with. She looked so small, so scared, how much had she heard?

She took a second to reapply the mask, then smiled and said "Amelia…I thought you were asleep."

"Is he really going to take me?" her voice was laced with fear.

"I…" what could she say? Amelia had clearly heard enough to understand the situation, and she was a smart girl.

"Please don't let him take me Karin; I want to stay with you. _Please Karin." _

To hear the heartache and desperation coming from this child she had grown so close to, was too much even for her mask. She rushed over to her and pulled her into a hug, as the child fell apart in her arms, a tear rolled down her own cheek. She whispered words of reassurance, as much for herself as for Amelia.

"I won't let him take you, I'll work something out, I promise."

_Yes that's wonderful Karin, make a promise you can't possibly keep, that will make it so much easier for her._

_I can keep it, I have to!_

_How?_

_I don't know...wait, Steven!_

_Hmm, worth a try._

* * *

><p>"Steven, you have to do something!"<p>

"Karin, getting promoted to admiral doesn't make me head of the SSA; what do you expect me to do?" His voice was level and calm as ever, but she knew him well and could hear the underlying apologetic tone, which calmed her, it wasn't his fault after all.

"I don't know, but I can't let them do this. She's a smart, strong and caring person Steven, this will destroy her. She has such potential to do amazing things, given the chance."

"Hmmm…potential?"

"What?"

"The Alliance like potential…you said she has biotic abilities and used them to stay alive?" His words had a curious tone and a glimmer of hope sparked inside her.

"Yes, there is footage of her disarming a batarian, knocking him down and shooting him with his own gun. I'll send it to you." She sent it immediately; if something was to be done it had to be done now. There were only eight hours until they would come for Amelia.

"Received, give me a second," the second felt like an eternity, time was not on her side, and she felt every passing moment. "That's damned impressive. Does she have a bio-amp yet?"

"No, she hadn't wanted to leave the colony and go to 'brain camp', so had refused to develop her biotics."

"She did that without an amp?" he said incredulously. "Ok, I definitely have grounds to intervene. The Alliance cannot ignore the potential she shows, with the right guidance she could be a very valuable asset. The Alliance would not want to let such potential get lost in the system; we would want to ensure she was placed under suitable guardianship, until she was old enough to enlist…"

As his plan revealed itself to her, Karin couldn't contain her joy, "Steven Hackett, you are a genius! I could kiss you right now."

"It does of course come with a catch; she'll have to willingly embrace her biotics, accept an amp and train to have complete control of them by the time she enlists."

"I am certain she will consider that a small price to pay, given her alternative. Now get on with arranging it, we have less than 8 hours until they come for her!"

His mouth twitched at the corners, "Yes ma'am."

She smiled at him, "I love you."

He gave an acknowledging nod, "Hackett out."

She shook her head and smirked. She was not delusional, he loved her, but she knew they would never be more than they were. She would always be his mistress, he was married to the military and always would be. It didn't sadden her too much though; she had her own career which she loved, and now…now she would have Amelia. She couldn't resist the smile that spread across her face and she headed back to Amelia's room.

* * *

><p>Stepping into the Alliance shooting range was harder than she had thought it would be; she couldn't help but think back to Johnas and the fun they used to have, when he was on shore leave.<p>

She adored them both, but her dad and uncle were polar opposites of each other. Her dad, a consultant for Conatix Industries, specialised in the development of biotic implants. So of course he was overjoyed when her own abilities manifested.

Johnas, however, was an outdoor, hands on kind of guy and so loved doing the practical things. Taking her camping, showing her survival skills, target practice at the range or with tin cans in the forest. Then there were the assault courses – her mother would have killed them both if she'd known about them! She never imagined all of that would save her life. If only she hadn't gone to the bathroom, if she'd been there in the foyer with them.

_I could have saved them...I should have saved them._

It had been three months to the day since the attack. Anderson had wanted to take her mind off things so he'd offered to bring her down to the shooting range before she met Karin for lunch. They may have entered her life by being her rescuers, but they had become so much more. Her guardians; she had a great deal of respect for Lieutenant Commander David Anderson, he reminded her so much of her uncle. A loyal, strong and dedicated military man, with an unmistakable soft spot for her.

With Karin it was different. She had been her strength when she was at her weakest; she had fought tooth and nail to keep her with her, loved her, a mother figure when she needed it most. Karin never tried to push the relationship, it just developed naturally. They were so close, she felt she could talk to Karin, trust her with things she never would have spoken to her own mother about. Not that she didn't love her mother, but she never really connected with her, not like the twins did. She had most definitely been her father's daughter.

Her brow furrowed and she pushed the memories back behind the wall and shut the door. It wasn't that she never thought about her family; just that she tried to restrict it to moments when she could mourn in private. Now was not one of those moments.

"So kid, what 'ya gonna go for, Predator or Carnifex? Anderson said, drawing her out of her thoughts.

"Errm, well, the gun Johnas let me use was the Predator, but he had said, on his next shore leave, he'd let me try the Carnifex." She had mentioned her uncle to Anderson before, but she wasn't sure if he knew the details of what had happened. "He…his squad was ambushed by that xenophobic terrorist group during a routine patrol."

"Yes, I read he was lost in action. The report said it was his brave actions that saved the lives of half his squad. I know it's hard, child, but try to take consolation in the knowledge that he was a true hero." The tone in his voice alone told her this was a man that knew loss all too well. How many comrades had he watched fall at his side? Did he also shoulder survivor's guilt as she did?

When Johnas' best friend arrived at their door, in his blue dress uniform, last autumn, she hadn't needed to hear the words to know why he was there. Her uncle had never babied her with false reassurance; she knew he was on the front line, that he had had many near misses, and that there would be more….or not.

But he never faulted; he truly believed in what he did, never once did he question if it was worth putting his life on the line to protect the innocent.

The ghost of a smile brushed her lips. She knew he was a hero; that he wouldn't have gone down without a fight. But to hear a man such as Anderson confirm it, that his sacrifice had been worth it... "The Carnifex."

Just as she finished putting the Carnifex back together, her omni-tool bleeped. She opened the message from Karin hoping she wasn't cancelling lunch. Karin's shore leave had ended a week ago and they hadn't seen each other since.

Granted, once Karin and Anderson were officially given guardianship of her, Karin had taken an extended shore leave and they'd had twelve weeks together, before Karin had to attend a mandatory annual training course. Plus, she had been distracted herself; she'd received her L3 bio-amp three weeks ago and had spent the last two weeks on a one-to-one intensive biotics training regime.

When Karin had told her the 'catch' for being able to stay with her, she hadn't even hesitated for a moment. The attack had awakened her own awareness that she needed to unlock the potential she had, and it was definitely preferable to her other option. But she couldn't deny she was damn thankful to the kid that caused the incident that got 'brain camp' shutdown two months earlier!

-o-

_Amelia dear,_

_Don't panic I'm not cancelling! However, I wanted to warn you, I have a friend joining us for drinks after lunch, I hope that's ok! She's an old friend from my academy training and I bumped into her on the transport back to Earth. Her son Jeff will also be coming; he's only a year younger than you and is also wanting to enlist when he's old enough._

_Hope you had fun with David this morning. Looking forward to seeing you!_

_K_

-o-

She chuckled at the opening line of the message, Karin knew her so well already. Then she frowned, this Jeff kid better not be some annoying smart mouth. It would be nice to know someone, maybe make a friend, before starting at the academy though.

She finished assembling her gun and handed it in at the front desk. She ran to catch up with Anderson at the transportation hub. She didn't know this area of Vancouver as well as the area around Karin's apartment, so didn't fancy losing him.

They jumped into the first free cab and headed to lunch. All things considered, this was turning out to be a good day.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Once again, hope you guys like this new chapter. Knowing people are enjoying it and hearing what they think keeps me motivated to keep going so please take a moment to comment!

As always thanks to elmjuniper for her help and encouragement

Also please feel free to find me on devArt under the same username!


	5. Chapter 5 - Chip

**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

* * *

><p><span><strong>Chip<strong>

Whatever she'd expected this Jeff kid to be like, reality was not even remotely in line with her expectations. As the scrawny kid hobbled through the restaurant door with leg bracers and crutches, she whispered to Karin, "What's wrong with him?"

"He has Vrolik syndrome. It causes his bones to be extremely brittle. He can barely sneeze without cracking a rib." If it hadn't been for the sincere tone in Karin's voice, Amelia would have laughed.

"And he plans to enlist?" she wasn't trying to be an ass, but looking at the boy hobbling towards her, she could in no way imagine him as a marine.

"Not everyone that enlists wants to be on the frontline. There are a lot of critical non-combat roles that The Alliance would be non-functional without." Despite the warm tone to Karin's voice, Amelia definitely felt like an ignorant ass now.

"Yeah, I guess; what does he want to do?"

"He wants to be a pilot. He's largely grown up on Arcturus Station; his mother's a civilian contractor, so he's grown up around ships."

"Civilian? I thought you two met in the academy?"

"We did, but when she had Jeff she retired from the Alliance. I think a lot of the pilots loved how interested he was in flying, so taught him to fly at an early age, he's apparently very good."

"It's cool, that he's not letting his disability stop him from doing what he wants to," there was a hint of admiration in her voice that made Karin smile.

Karin waved to catch her friend's attention from across the restaurant. As they reached the table Karin and the other woman hugged, "Oh I'm so glad you could make it Sarah."

"Me too Karin, it's so lovely to see you, how long has it been?" the other woman said with a warm American twang.

"Too long my friend."

As the boy - Jeff, got closer to the table, Amelia moved round to the chair in the corner, freeing up her chair which had easiest access for him.

He glared at her and said "I don't need a carer, I can choose my own seat."

She rolled her eyes. _Oh joy, an attitude..._

"Jeff don't be so rude, she was just being considerate," his mother said looking apologetically at Amelia, clearly embarrassed by her son's behaviour.

"It's ok" Amelia smiled at Sarah.

"You must be Amelia. Karin told me so much about you on the transport back to Earth; it's lovely to meet you."

The thought that Karin had talked about her, that she was that important to Karin, that her friend was pleased to meet her, put a huge smile and slight blush on Amelia's face. "Thank you, I'm at a bit of a disadvantage, but it's nice to meet you too."

As Karin and Sarah began to talk among themselves, Amelia decided to break the awkward silence that had fallen between her and Mr. Attitude. "So, Karin said you plan to enlist with The Alliance too."

"Yeah, what of it?" a defensive tone dripped off his words.

_Oh this is going to be fun..._ "You wanna be a pilot right? Karin said you're quite good already."

He snorted "Not what you expected from a cripple?"

_Ok, that's enough!_ "Can I help you with that chip?" she said putting as genuine a tone in her voice as she could.

"What? What chip?" He sounded confused which was what she was hoping for.

"That big one on your shoulder," she said with a smirk on a her face and a glint in her eye. Gotcha!

At that he couldn't help but laugh, "Yeah, please it's getting a bit heavy." And just like that his defensive attitude dissipated.

"So, how did you end up with Doctor Chakwas as your guardian?" he asked; she could tell from the way he asked that he genuinely had no idea.

"Oh, it's a funny story actually. She found me after my family and friends were massacred by batarian slavers, saved my life and took me in; you know, the usual." She kept a light tone to her voice, no point making up a story, but she wasn't looking for a sympathy vote any more than he was, and she wanted to make that clear to him.

He didn't miss her point and replied in an equally light tone "Ahh that old story. So what's going to be your specialty when you enlist?"

"I'm a biotic, so vanguard class marine, got my L3 bio-amp three weeks ago," she surprised herself with the pride in her voice. She had a specialty, and she was advancing in her training at an impressive rate.

"Ugh, biotics, always stealing the limelight from those with real disabilities," he mocked.

"Coming from 'I don't need a carer' boy," she returned teasingly. "So you live on a space station then? That must be cool."

"Yeah me and mom moved there when her and dad split five years ago. I love it, wasn't exactly an outdoor kinda kid anyway, and I got to learn to fly which is awesome. I can fly circles around half the commercial pilots now, which is good cos I'll need to be the best to be considered for flight school, seen as I'll have to skip all the physical stuff in boot camp.

"Ah, I wondered how you'd get round that. Well hopefully you're as good as you are cocky," she smirked "So where's your dad then?"

"He runs a farm with his new wife on Tiptree, a tiny colony out in the ass-end of nowhere; I don't really have much contact with him, but he comm'd me the other week to tell me I'm gonna be a big brother." Amelia could here confliction in his voice, pride and irritation crashing like waves, both trying to gain advantage.

"I had thirteen year old twin sisters; they were executed along with my girlfriend while we were waiting to see a movie." Amelia was surprised at her own admission, she'd wanted to help Jeff see that having a sibling on the way was a good thing, but she hadn't intended to add such personal details.

"_What the shit_? That's…" he trailed off, clearly unsure what to say.

"Sorry, I just...you're lucky, to have a sibling, enjoy it." she said with a melancholy smile.

"Yeah, perspective, thanks." he said with a warmth in his tone. "So I'm guessing you don't wanna go see a retro showing of Star Wars with me then?" he said feigning ignorance.

She laughed; his dark humour was a refreshing change from the usual reactions of pity and awkward silences. "Tell you what Chip, I'll go to the movies with you if you come bowling with me…"

"Ha, yeah that would so end up with a medevac," he said with amusement.

"Ooo sounds fun," she mocked.

They sat and chatted about plans for the future for another hour, they didn't need to talk about the past, but the future, that was something they had in common.

* * *

><p>From where Amelia sat in the corner of the mess hall, she had a great vantage point to overlook the rest of the room. It was something Anderson had ingrained in her from early on: <em>have control of the situation before you even know there is one.<em>

Her table was otherwise unoccupied, which she was getting used to; it was the end of her first week at the Academy and she was yet to make a single friend. She had hoped she'd be able to start with a clean slate, but she'd heard the whispers, her past made her infamous; a freak.

The story varied depending who was telling it; one of the more fanciful versions she'd heard, told of how she ripped twenty batarians apart with nothing but her biotics. Those stories amused her; she could have barely managed to rip a piece of paper apart back then, let alone a batarian.

But then there were the malicious versions: she was a coward that sacrificed her family so she could escape, and that she only got accepted into the Academy because she got the sympathy vote from her conveniently well connected guardians.

Those stories made her blood boil; she'd had to work damn hard to get here. If anything, having the connections had made it more of a challenge, they expected so much more from her, and she worked so hard, to make sure she wouldn't disappoint the most important people in her life.

Amelia was so lost in her thoughts when the recruit sat down opposite her, that she jumped and nearly threw her tray off the table.

_So much for having control of the situation..._

_Oh shut up!_

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump." the recruit said trying to hide a smirk.

"Errr, no worries, I was just...not used to anyone actually join me." Amelia cringed as she heard the words that had rolled off her tongue.

_Yeah, good job, go for the 'Hey, my name's pathetic' line with the hot girl that's paying you attention. That'll definitely work in our favour._

_Will you give it a re...hot girl?_

_Good Lord where is your head at? Focus marine!_

As she focused on the girl opposite her, she realised that the girl wasn't just hot, she was stunning. Not a skerrick of makeup on, as was standard for all recruits, and yet she was the most beautiful thing Amelia had seen since...Hailey.

_You're staring..._

_Shit, thanks._

"Sorry, I'm totally forgetting my manners, Amelia – I mean Shepard."

_Wow you managed your name, well done!_

The recruit smiled and Amelia was sure the room got brighter. "That's a lovely name: Amelia – not Shepard...oh errm - not that Shepard is a horrible name." the recruit blushed profusely and Amelia took advantage of that moment to regain some dignity.

"Well it's not exactly a name for the history books, but I'm ok with it. I might forgive you, if you allow me the same opportunity to ridicule your name?" her cheeky grin clearly put the recruit at ease.

"Jennifer Keen" she said holding out her hand and smiling.

Amelia took her hand as she said "Nice to meet you Jennifer."

* * *

><p>"So we could go to the movies? There's a new one out I really want to see, God what was the name again?" Jen said enthusiastically.<p>

Shepard's stomach churned at the suggestion, she hadn't stepped foot in a movie theatre since that day, and she didn't plan to either. "Errm, I'd rather not, I'm not a big fan of them," she said awkwardly.

"But you've happily watched movies with me in dorm. Shepard, if you don't want to go out you can just say, it's ok." Although she tried to hide it, Shepard could hear a hint of insecurity in Jen's voice.

"No Jen that's not it, I...it's"

_Tell her._

_Why? She doesn't need to know about that shit, it's history._

_Of course she needs to know; you can't have a functioning relationship and keep this stuff locked away from her._

_A functioning relationship? It's our fifth date…_

_You know that's not the point, it sets a precedent. Tell her…_

"It's just that I get really bad headaches from the big screen, so I avoid going to see movies in the theatre. You know, I think the bowling alley reopened from its refurb last week."

_Idiot…_

_Piss off already._

"Oh, ok. Yeah I guess bad headaches would kinda take the enjoyment out of it." Jen visibly relaxed and gave her a sympathetic look before smiling, "bowling sounds good."

* * *

><p>As the shuttle landed in Whistler, Amelia stirred and then jumped when she realised she'd fallen asleep. End of semester celebrations had allowed very little sleep and apparently the one hour transport hop had proved too tempting to decline a quick nap.<p>

She stretched and shook her head to clear the sleep fog, the shuttle door hissed and opened outward, allowing a cold gust of crisp air to rush in and slap Amelia around the face, as if to intentionally help wake her up. Intentional or not, it worked.

She grabbed her duffle bag from the luggage store and stepped out into the cold fresh air. She took a deep breath, there was something about the air in Whistler that felt so pure, untainted by the modern world. She shielded her eyes from the dazzling sun as it reflected off the pristine snow. Her third time here and every time felt as magical as the last. Yup, this was definitely her favourite place on Earth.

As the projectile sailed past the back of her head, missing by only an inch, she ducked and spun around, just in time to react to the next incoming shot. As she dived for cover behind the nearest tree, she scanned the area for her attacker, when she locked eyes on him she readied herself for battle.

Crouching lower she scooped up a handful of snow and began to mould a perfect ball shape, making sure not to pack it too tight, but tight enough that it would hold together well in flight.

"You're losing your touch Moreau, you had a perfect chance with that first shot, now you're dead." she shouted across the space between them goading him to reveal himself.

"Ha, I'm losing my touch? That's coming from the bad ass marine that almost got taken out by a cripple. I thought you were better than that Lia," he yelled back with a mocking tone.

Just as she was about to launch her attack with her now perfect projectile, a familiar voice broke the silence.

"When you two children have quite finished, we have a cab waiting to take us back to the cabin." Amusement rang through the feigned irritation in the sharp English accent.

Amelia smiled at the sound of her guardian and stepped out from behind the tree, when she looked over to where Jeff had been she realised he was gone, she'd barely taken three steps when she was hit dead centre of her left cheek.

_Wow you let him flank you, good work soldier…_

_Screw you, it's not like you were any help._

_I'm not here to help, I'm here to mock you._

_Ugh!_

"You're dead you little shit" as she raised her arm to plant the projectile she still held, Karin crossed her path blocking her line of sight, no way she was gonna make that shot without risking hitting Karin. "Damn it Karin, let me at him."

"Later, Sarah has dinner on, which will be ready in 20 minutes and it's a 15 minute ride back."

"Ugh, saved by the Doctor Moreau...this time." Amelia shouted over Karin's shoulder.

She ran back to grab her duffle bag then walked over to her guardian and hugged her, "Great to see you Karin."

"You too dear," Karin said kissing her on her right cheek and stroking her left, which was still red from the attack.

Jeff joined them as they walked to the cab; he looked across Karin giving Amelia a cheeky but warm smile. "Missed you Lia."

"Missed you too Chip, even though you are a dick," she said with a grin.

When they arrived at the Moreau's family cabin Amelia smiled, as beautiful as ever. The little dock covered in frost, glistening in the sun, the frozen lake begging to be skated on, the stunning snow covered mountains the perfect backdrop for this little piece of heaven, where the four of them had spent the last two Christmases together.

As she entered the warm log cabin, amazing smells overwhelmed her senses, making her realise just how hungry she was. "God that smells amazing Sarah."

"Oh Amelia love, how are you?" Sarah said hugging her.

"So much better for being here, I somehow forgot how perfect this place is. It's absolutely my favourite place on Earth."

"Yeah cos you've seen so much of it, colony girl." Jeff ribbed from the sofa in front of the roaring fire.

"I could see every centimeter of this planet and I guarantee this will still be my favourite place." she said sticking her tongue out at him.

Sarah smiled warmly, "I totally agree Amelia, it's just perfect here."

Amelia began taking the food to the beautifully set oak table. Stepping into this cabin was like stepping back in time to a twenty first century Christmas film, and she loved it.

They ate, drank, talked and laughed all night,; once the oldies went to bed Jeff got out an old chess set, one they had played together many times. Neither of them could proclaim to be chess champions, but they were of similar skill level, which allowed them both to believe they were better than reality knew.

"You up for a challenge Lia? A shot of brandy for every piece lost?" Jeff goaded.

"Pfft, marines drink brandy with their cereal, bring it on Chip."

They played and drank well into the night, until the brandy ran out. They stumbled to their bedrooms arguing in whispers as they went over who would have won had the brandy not run dry. They parted and both fell into a deep slumber, this was a good place, shielded from the rest of the world, full of happiness for them both.

* * *

><p>As they stood in Vancouver transport hub a tinny voice came over the tannoy "Commuter transport to Arcturus Station departing from dock D8 in five minutes."<p>

"God Shepard, I can't believe it's the end of our first year already. It sucks we're not going to see each other all summer; I'm going to miss you like mad." Jen said with her head resting on Shepard's shoulder, arms wrapped round her waist.

"I know, I'm going to miss you too baby, but we both know, this summer position Jeff's mom got me on Arcturus is a great opportunity. How else are we going to get the deposit for an off campus apartment?" Shepard, didn't like the idea of not seeing Jen for almost two months either, but she was also looking forward to having two months with Jeff, they hadn't seen each other since Christmas.

"Yeah yeah, you'll be having too much fun causing trouble with Jeff to miss me. I feel sorry for the rest of Arcturus for the next two months!" she said playfully.

"Hey I _will_ miss you, but yeah, I kinda pity the rest of them too," Shepard chuckled.

The tinny voice on the tannoy interrupted them again, "Final call for commuter transport, destination Arcturus Station departing from dock D8 in two minutes."

Jen reluctantly loosened her grip and lifted her head to look at Shepard, she slid one hand up Shepard's collarbone and round to the back of her head. Weaving her fingers through her long copper hair, she pulled her head lower as she tiptoed to bring their lips together. Jen gently brushed her lips against her girlfriend's, Shepard pressed back in reply and brushed her tongue along Jen's bottom lip, Jen accepted the so very familiar request and their tongues danced a well-practiced dance.

Shepard reluctantly pulled back with a frustrated sigh, "You're not helping you know," she said with a chuckle.

"I'm not trying to," Jen replied mischievously.

"Yup, _definitely_ can't wait to have our own place next year." Shepard said with a cheeky smile, "and definitely gonna miss you." she said looking at Jen adoringly.

Jen looked deep into her emerald eyes, "I love you Amelia Shepard."

"Me too." Shepard replied still smiling.

_Are you ever going to actually say it back to her?_

_I do…_

_No, you say 'me too' or 'ditto'. You only ever say 'I love you' when you're drunk._

_So, she knows I love her._

_Does she? I'm not even convinced you do._

_Well luckily no one asked you._

"Right I really have to go before my transport leaves without me. I'll vid-com you when I arrive ok?"

"You better." Jen said sternly.

They kissed once more, then Shepard grabbed her bag and jumped on the transport ship.

Shepard moved through the decks and found her quarters; the cabin was tiny, but considering she had been sleeping dorm style with thirty other recruits for the last nine months, the privacy was a luxury, however little space there was.

It was a late transport and she'd had a busy day; the journey would take three days from here in a slow transport like this one, so exploring the ship could wait until morning. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out like a light.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean they declined your application to flight school?" Amelia said infuriated.<p>

"They didn't consider my flight display to be impressive enough to warrant waiving boot camp." Jeff said totally deflated.

"Not impressive enough?" she said incredulously, "you're the best damn pilot on this space station, and you're not even a pilot!"

"Yeah, well they had all these rules of stuff you couldn't do during your flight test, I was the first one up and didn't wanna risk getting disqualified, so kept it within the rules. But when the others went up, the ones that qualified were the ones that broke the rules."

"Ah shit Jeff; you don't follow the rules if you wanna get noticed, and you need to be noticed and stand out from the crowd. You need to show them you're the best damn pilot they'll ever recruit," Amelia said frustrated.

The way the system worked sucked, they gave you rules, but if you weren't willing to break them to prove yourself, then you clearly didn't want it bad enough. She kicked herself for not having told Jeff that. "Are the recruitment reps still here?"

"Yeah, they're leaving this afternoon, why?" he said disheartened.

"Great, plenty of time to prove to them how good you really are" Amelia said slyly.

"What are you up to?" he said cautiously, yet curious.

"Like I said, you don't get anywhere in The Alliance without breaking a few rules, we're going to steal one of those test fighters." she said smugly.

"What the shit Lia? There's breaking the rules and then there's breaking the law!" he sat with his jaw open in shock at her suggestion.

"You want in The Alliance or not Chip?" she goaded.

"Ah, shit…you know my mom's gonna kill us," he sighed "Ok, what's the plan?"

-o-

As the alarm sounded and the station went into alert Amelia smirked, she could get court martialled for this, but she didn't care, this was for Jeff, and she'd do anything for her best friend; so she sat back to watch the show.

-o-

"Report Lieutenant." the gruff voice of Captain Jerrico demanded. The man in charge of The Alliance flight school selection was not a man to be messed with.

The Lieutenant manning docking control replied "Captain, we have an unauthorised departure of one of the fighters used in the applicant demonstrations."

"Open a com channel," Jerrico ordered.

"Aye Sir, line open."

"This is Captain Jerrico, identify yourself."

"_This is Jeff Moreau Sir,"_ the nerves were evident in his voice as he spoke over the comms.

Muting the com the Captain turned to look at his second in command, Major Warner, "Moreau...wasn't that the name of one of the applicants from yesterday?"

"Yes Sir, I believe he is the applicant that has a brittle bone disorder so would need to skip boot camp; his application was declined." she replied, a little unnerved at the whole situation.

Jerrico unmuted the com, "What the hell are you playing at Moreau, your application was declined."

"_Yes Sir, because I was naive enough to think playing by the rules would work in my favour. Now I'm going to show you what I'm capable of without rules, because I'm the best damn pilot you'll ever recruit Sir."_ this time he spoke with confidence.

The Captain's mouth twitched at the edges, he didn't condone breaking the law, but he couldn't help but admire the balls on this kid. "You sure as hell better deliver Moreau, or I _will _be leaving you at the mercy of station security; you have five minutes to prove your worth."

"Thank you Sir, but I'll only need two to convince you."

-o-

As Amelia watched through the panoramic observation window at the mesmerizing display her best friend put on, she registered the crowds that were forming around her; people coming to watch this boy pull off some of the most complex manoeuvres one after the other, like it was nothing. She beamed with pride and whispered "attaboy."

-o-

The Captain stood watching in amazement as this boy pulled off such an impressive display, he was struggling to come up with names of experienced pilots that could pull off what he was seeing before him. "How the hell did we miss this kid?" he demanded incredulously to his second.

"Well, errm, his test flight was, he, errm kept to the rules you set for them. I suppose he didn't want to risk being disqualified." she said uneasily, she hated the way Jerrico selected recruits, it was stupid to discount people that stuck to rules _he_ set for them, and this boy was a perfect example why.

"Hmm, well get his application and mark is as accepted. I'm not letting a kid with those skills go anywhere but into The Alliance."

"Yes Sir."

* * *

><p>"Baby have you seen my red heels?" Jen called from the bedroom.<p>

Shepard rolled her eyes, how that woman took three times as long as she did to get ready was beyond her. "They're in the closet where you left them," she worked hard to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"Got them, thank you. Ta-dah," the voice said from the bedroom door.

As Shepard looked up from where she sat on the couch she stopped and stared. _Totally worth the wait..._

"Wow...you look, incredible." Shepard managed to say, with a look of awe.

Jen bounded over to her, best as her ridiculously high heels would allow and flung herself onto Shepard's lap "Why thank you, you scrub up pretty well yourself." She said with a look of adoration.

"Damn it woman, all I want to do now is get you out of that dress." Shepard said playfully as she reached round for the zipper on the dress.

Jen slapped her hand away "Not a chance. We're finally celebrating our graduation, already two weeks late, thanks to the reservation waiting list at this place, no way this dress is going anywhere, until dessert." she said with a seductive edge.

Shepard growled into the crook of her neck, "Then we'd better get going before I can't control myself."

"Oh I left my purse in the bedroom; I'll be back in a second I promise."

Shepard rolled her eyes as she watched her girlfriend run off back to the bedroom. Just as she stood up her omni-tool pinged, she had an incoming vid-com. Odd for this time of night, but when she saw the caller ID she answered with a smile, one of her two favourite people in the galaxy.

"Karin, I wasn't expecting to hear from you until tomorrow. How's…"

"Amelia." Karin interrupted her with a trembling voice; Shepard fell silent as the look on Karin's face registered.

"What's wrong?" she said apprehensively.

Karin, took a deep breath and Amelia could see that she was steeling herself for what she was about to say; something was very wrong.

When the woman she loved like a mother met her gaze again, there was such sadness in her moss green eyes, that Amelia found a lump forming in her throat. The last time she'd seen that look in Karin's eyes, was back in the hospital after the quack had condemned Amelia to be committed. It was a look filled with sadness, helplessness and desperation.

"Karin, what's happened?" Amelia said, unable to keep the tremble from her voice.

-o-

As Jen walked back out from the bedroom, she scanned the large open plan apartment for Shepard; she'd expect to find her by the front door, tapping her foot dramatically. When she saw her girlfriend sat rigid and motionless on the couch, an uneasy feeling crept over her.

As she moved closer she realised Shepard had a vid-com link open on her omni-tool, but she couldn't make out who it was from where she stood. As she got closer she saw the familiar face of Karin Chakwas, and when she was close enough to make out the expression on Karin's face, Jen froze. Something was wrong, she looked to Shepard with concern and saw pain and sorrow etched on her face; it was a strange sight, she'd never before seen such raw emotions oose so freely from her girlfriend, and it almost scared her to see.

"Shepard? What's wrong?" she wanted to run over to her girlfriend and hug her, comfort her, but she knew Shepard wouldn't want it, so she stayed frozen in place, staring at her.

Shepard closed her eyes, and clenched her jaw together so tight, Jen was sure her teeth would shatter. Then Shepard whispered something so quiet, that if Jen hadn't been studying her face she would have missed it.

"Oh God, Jeff…"

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Hey Guys,

Sorry it's been a bit more than a week on this one, I got really stuck on where to take this for a while, as wanting to cover three years in one chapter seemed like a mean feat. I think I pulled it off, I just hope I got it across without confusing you!

I can't thank elm for beta reading this time cos she's gone on holiday (that girl so needs to get her priorities straight!), however big thanks to my mum for proof reading again for me! But I can thanks elm for motivating me!

Want to see what has Karin and Amelia in such emotional turmoil? Then come back next week! ;-)

Please keep commenting, you don't even need an account to leave feedback, and I do love to hear what people think.


	6. Chapter 6 - Grief and Love

**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

* * *

><p><span><strong>Grief and Love<strong>

"What the hell do you think this is Shepard, a holiday camp?" boomed the baritone voice of her Commanding Officer.

"Sir, no Sir."

"But you still think it's reasonable, to request a leave of absence, two weeks after you graduate?"

"He's my best friend Sir, I have to be at the funeral."

"He may be your best friend, but The Alliance is your life, or have you forgotten that marine?"

"Sir, no Sir, I have not forgotten that." Amelia was getting desperate, _desperate times..._ "Permission to speak freely Sir?"

"You have thirty seconds,"

"Are you familiar with the court martial proceedings Sir?"

"I am, why?" his voice had a hint of curiosity in it, which was what she was hoping for.

"Because Major, The Alliance ingrains in us the importance of loyalty and sticking together through the toughest times. It is that ethos I am following Sir. So if you won't give me permission, then you will have to court martial me for deserting, because I _will_ be at that funeral. Sir."

It was taking all of her concentration to keep the quake out of her voice. Insubordination was not on the top of her to do list, but this was Jeff, she _had_ to go.

"Heh, you've got balls Shepard, and you pose a fair argument," he said with amusement in his voice. "There won't be a court martial today, permission for compassionate leave granted. You and Second Lieutenant Keen have 3 days. Dismissed."

Shepard froze, _shit._

"I'm sorry Sir, I obviously wasn't clear when making my request. The request was solely for myself, not for Second Lieutenant Keen."

"Your request was clear Shepard; I amended it. Let's call sending Keen with you an insurance policy to ensure your ass is back where it should be on time. I would have thought you'd be happy to have your girlfriend with you."

"Yes Sir, it's just...the squad will be two marines down instead of one, I guarantee I will be back here on time."

"Shepard, I've given you the leave you requested. This isn't a negotiation, take the deal or leave it."

"Yes Sir, thank you Sir." Shepard saluted, turned and left.

_Shit!_

_This may be a silly question, but why don't you want our girlfriend there to support us?_

_I just don't._

_Hmm, yes, very strong argument…_

_It'll be...Jeff's Lia at the funeral._

_And you've only let Jen fall in love with Second Lieutenant Shepard._

_Yup._

_Not that I have any desire to say I told you so…_

_But you're going to anyway..._

_Well, it feels really appropriate to bring up that conversation we had about setting a precedent..._

_You're so helpful…_

_I try._

* * *

><p>They'd travelled in silence most of the journey to Whistler.<p>

"It's beautiful here. We should both come here for Christmas this year," Jen said as she stared out the window at the stunning landscape.

"Maybe," was all Shepard replied, not wanting to commit to anything right now.

Jen was right though, Whistler was like an example of what a perfect Earth would look like. Amelia hadn't thought it could get any more breathtaking than it was in the winter snow, but seeing it through an autumn lens, she realised she had been wrong.

Gone was the winter's white blanket that her and Jeff had had many a snowball fight in. In it's place was a beautiful patchwork quilt of autumn leaves.

As the cab came to a stop, Amelia scanned the mourning crowd gathering outside the cabin. She caught sight of Karin almost immediately. Even from this distance she could see the grief etched on Karin's face, betraying her usual mask of calm.

Amelia climbed out the cab, straightened her blue dress uniform and started walking towards Karin. She didn't even check on Jen, her Shepard was not here, today she was Karin and Jeff's Amelia and that was all that mattered.

The closer Amelia got to Karin, the further her guardian's mask slipped. When she reached her, Amelia pulled Karin into an embrace. The last thread holding her mask gave way and the calm shattered.

After a minute Karin's silent sobs subsided and she began to regain some composure.

Accepting a tissue from Amelia she smiled and said "Look what you did, I was fine until you arrived."

Amelia chuckled, "Liar."

Karin then looked over Amelia's shoulder, "Oh Jen dear, I didn't realise you would be coming too, it's lovely to see you. Sorry I made such a scene."

Jen moved forward and hugged Karin, "Please don't apologise for grieving Karin. Yes our CO let me come to support Shepard."

"That's nice," Karin said smiling at Jen, as she looked over at Amelia a questioning frown flashed across her face.

Amelia shifted uncomfortably avoiding her guardian's gaze, this wasn't the time. "Is everything ready?" she asked Karin trying to steer the situation back to the importance of today.

"Almost," Karin replied and looked over at the little dock on the lake.

Amelia followed her gaze. "Ok, give me a minute."

* * *

><p><em>Jeff loved to look at the lake, imagining himself out there skating around. There were many things he would never be able to do, most of which he didn't dwell on. If he moped about everything he couldn't do, he would miss out on all the things he could, but ice skating on their lake was one thing that kept nagging at him.<em>

"_Be careful Jeff don't get too close." Sarah called from the cabin._

"_Mom I'm fine, stop fussing." he said irritated._

"_You won't be fine if your crutches slip on ice." his mother replied in annoyance._

"_I won't let him fall Sarah I promise." Lia's voice called out next to him._

_Jeff turned and looked at her, he'd never had a real friend before, not like this. There were of course friends of convenience, outcasts banding together, but never someone who was his friend because they liked him for who he was._

"_The lake on Mindoir used to freeze every year, it was a thing we did as a family, both me and the twins could skate as early as we could walk. Hailey, was terrible at it though; I had to support her so much I was practically carrying her." Lia said as she chuckled at the memory._

_He laughed, "Yeah that would pretty much be me too I think."_

"_Have you ever tried?" Lia said nodding toward the lake._

"_Oh yeah, didn't you know? I'm going for gold in the next Olympics," he replied, sarcasm dripping off every word._

"_Uh-huh…" she said with a smirk. "Wanna try?"_

_He did a double take, there was no teasing tone, no mocking expression, she was serious._

"_I...errm, I don't...I'd quite like to avoid a medevac this Christmas." he said still stunned at her suggestion._

_She turned square on to look at him, "I meant what I said to your mom Jeff, I won't let you fall, I promise."_

_As he studied her face, he could see unwavering certainty in her eyes, she meant what she said, and he believed her. "Ok, but I don't think we have any skates that match these bad boys." he said waving at his leg braces._

_She beamed and said, "I found the perfect thing in your cabin basement yesterday afternoon. Wait here."_

_When she returned with the bizarre looking torture device in hand he frowned at her questioningly, looking more than a little concerned._

"_They're old but they're safe and they'll fit over your braces," Lia said confidently._

"_What the hell are they?"_

_She laughed, "They attach to regular footwear, giving you a skating blade."_

"_Ok, you're sure they're safe?"_

"_Yup, we used to have a set on Mindoir; I've check these over and they're solid. Come on sit down, I'll fit them for you."_

_As she fitted the blades to his boots, he kept looking back at the cabin praying his mother wouldn't see what they were up to. "My mom is gonna kills both when she finds out."_

_Lia looked up at him with a cheeky smile "No she's not, Karin's got her covered. Right, all set let's get you up."_

_As he stood, he was about to ask what she meant by 'Karin's got her covered', but before he had chance a faint blue glow beside him caught his eye. He watched as the blue ball of energy grew bigger and brighter in his best friend's hand._

"_Wow you're biotics control has really improved, but what are you doing?"_

"_Preparing your safety net," she said with confidence._

_Before he had chance to ask what she meant, the biotic energy hit him in the chest, but there was no force, no impact; it felt more like an icy gust of wind washing over his entire body, every hair stood on end and every inch of his skin tingled from the strange sensation._

"_There, that wasn't so bad was it?" she said smiling at him._

"_You could have warned me," he said trying to make the amazement in his voice sound like irritation._

_Apparently it worked, Lia frowned, "So ungrateful, shut up moaning and lets get moving," she said walking away from him and stepping down onto the ice, "Come on."_

_He looked at her, "Errm aren't you going to at least help me?" the nerves were evident in his voice._

"_I am," she said as she spun on the ice to face him, showing him a reassuring smile._

_Jeff realised she was still radiating blue energy, subtle pulses of biotic energy extending from her hands created a blue hue across the space between them. He took a step forward and realised his entire body felt as if it was being reinforced by an invisible full body brace._

_As he stepped down onto the ice he almost lost his balance, but he only fell a fraction before being stabilized by the biotics surrounding him. "I told you, I won't let you fall." Lia said to reassure him._

_They skated like that for twenty minutes before Karin called from the dock, "Ok Amelia, that's enough now."_

_Jeff looked up and beamed at the two women looking on at them, "But I'm fine Karin."_

_Karin laughed, "I know you're fine, it's Amelia I'm worried about, she's only had the amp six months, she can't exert her biotics for long periods."_

"_I'm still a lightweight, s_orry Chip_." Lia said trying to keep a playful tone, but when Jeff heard the exhaustion in her voice, he understood and headed back to the dock._

_As Sarah helped Jeff take the blades off she said, "You have a natural talent for skating, I'm...sorry you can't do that whenever you want."_

_He looked at her a little surprised, he was half expecting an ear full. Then he smiled, "Thanks for letting me mom."_

"_You were in safe hands. Just don't go trying that on your own." she teased._

"_Oh don't worry, that will never happen." he laughed._

* * *

><p>As she reached the end of the dock she looked out over the lake, until today she'd only ever seen it as a natural ice rink. The mountains were an amazing backdrop in the winter, but to see them reflecting back up at themselves from the lake's pristine surface, confirmed just how perfect their position was.<p>

"Didn't think they'd let you come."

"Yeah well, I told my CO he'd better prepare the paperwork for a court martial, because permission or not, I was going to be there for my best friend."

"Heh, how'd he take that?"

"He respected my dedication to my best friend and granted me leave."

"Nice."

A silence fell between them as they both gazed out over the lake.

"Do you remember the first time we went skating?"

"I'm not doing it today if that's what you're asking." she joked.

"Idiot. I was sure mom was going to kick my ass when we got back off the ice, but instead she told me what a natural I was and said she was sorry I couldn't do it whenever I wanted." he said with a melancholy tone.

"She was an amazing woman. I know she was a great support for Karin, helping her cope with suddenly becoming a mom of a teenager. She's leaving a big hole in many people's lives." Lia said with a saddened tone.

"Does it get easier?"

"No; but if you're lucky, you find a few special people that help smother it, until everyday life is easier and you don't notice it so much."

"Were you lucky?"

"Yes," she turned her head to look at him, "I found Karin, you and Sarah."

He turned and looked at her, she could see the burn in his eyes, the clench of his jaw as he fought back the tears. The grief etched on his face. It was a grief Amelia knew well.

She dropped her hand into the gap between the two of them, as her hand brushed against his, he took the offer and their fingers interlinked.

**-o-**

Jen watched the woman stood on the dock with Jeff. She felt a cool chill wash over her as the realisation, that she was looking at a stranger, hit her. From the moment they stepped out of the cab, her Shepard was no where to be seen.

"It's like I'm here with a stranger."

It wasn't until Karin responded that Jen even realised she had spoken out loud.

"She has to protect herself while in The Alliance to be able to keep the demons at bay."

"Demons?" Jen asked.

Karin nodded slowly looking over at the young woman that Jen was still staring at with a confused and hurt expression.

"She saw more death in four days than a lot of marines see in a life of service; forced into kill or be killed situations at the age of sixteen." Karin said with renewed sorrow washing over her face. "Gosh, when I found her, she was such a mess. I could see her shutting down in front of me, then suddenly, it was like someone turned the lights back on. She told me her name and even what it meant."

"_You _found her?" Jen said astonished.

Karin turned to look at Jen and saw the incredulous look on Jen's face and realised, Amelia hadn't let Jen in at all. This poor girl that stood in front of her, was in love with Amelia's protective barrier, because that was all she had been given.

"Oh Amelia." Karin whispered in dismay "I'm sorry Jen, I know this must be hard, there's so much she hides away just so she can function in everyday life."

"Not from you, or Jeff."

**-o-**

He looked over at the procession waiting outside the cabin. "So many people." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"You ready?"

"Nope"

"No, you probably never will be, but let's do this anyway."

He gave a short nod and the two best friends turned and walked toward the front of the waiting procession hand in hand.

* * *

><p>After closing the apartment door behind her, Shepard chased after Jen who had gone straight into the bedroom. Jen hadn't spoken a word or even looked at Shepard since before the service; even the hour long cab journey she managed to avoid contact of any kind.<p>

"You going to tell me what's..." she stopped when she saw the suitcase open on the bed, "what are you doing?" she just stared as Jen went back and forth from the closet throwing clothes into the case, "Jen? Will you please talk to me?" she said stepping in her girlfriends path.

"I don't know who it was I was at that funeral with, but it sure as hell wasn't the woman you've let me fall in love with. Karin said you have to protect yourself while in The Alliance, is that all I am to you? Just another Alliance marine?" tears began to roll down Jen's cheeks as she screamed in Shepard's face.

"We've just got back from a close friend's funeral, and you're throwing this at me?" Shepard said in shock at this turn of events.

"Yes, and you clearly didn't want me there, so why the hell did you request I go with you?" Jen yelled at her.

"I didn't," Shepard yelled, "the Major wouldn't let me go without you." the truth tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop it. "Oh shit, Jen, I didn't mean…"

"Oh no, I think you did." Jen scoffed and carried on packing.

"Jen, don't do this, please just...can we talk?"

"Why? Clearly Amelia doesn't need _me_." Jen said sourly. Then she took a deep breath, "No, I need some space. I'm going to stay with my parent's, give me a few days and then we can talk. It'll give you time to work out what's important to you as well." Jen said making clear there was no negotiation in this.

Shepard hung her head as her girlfriend continued packing.

_You know, it's probably better it happened now, than after you put a ring on her finger._

_Shut up._

As Jen picked up the suitcase and headed to the door Shepard grabbed her hand, "Jen...please don't go."

Jen looked her in the eye, her expression cold. "I'll call you when I'm ready to talk."

With that she was gone.

Amelia had left the apartment soon after Jen, she couldn't be there right now.

As she walked through Victory Square in the pouring rain, she stopped to look at the memorial; autumn leaves scattered over the few steps of the memorial pillar reminding her of the funeral. Karin.

* * *

><p>When the door-com went off Karin climbed out of bed, wrapped herself in her dressing gown and went to the com, "Hello?"<p>

"Karin it's me," said the voice she knew well. She knew it so well that, even over the com she could hear the broken emotion in the voice of the girl she considered her daughter.

When Amelia reached her door, the sight before her was pitiful to say the least. Still wearing her dress blue uniform she was dripping wet, head hung low, shoulders slumped.

"She's left me; I think I've lost her." Amelia said in all but a whisper.

"Oh darling," Karin said pulling her into a hug, "come in, let's get you out of those wet clothes before you catch your death."

While Amelia got showered, Karin made coffee; when Amelia was upset, she didn't sleep, it was going to be a long night.

"Do I smell coffee at three am?"

"Indeed you do." Karin said smiling in the direction of the spare room.

"Well that can only mean one thing, Lia's here?"

"Jen left her, that's all I know." she said.

"What the shit?" Jeff said clearly shocked. He hadn't seen what Karin had today, how little Jen knew the real Amelia, their Amelia.

"I didn't realise you were here Chip." Amelia said emerging from the bathroom in the spare robe she kept here.

"Yeah, didn't feel like going back to the dorm tonight. So...Jen?" he asked, one thing Jeff was not known for was subtlety.

"Not tonight, I can't tonight." she said sadly as she grabbed a mug of fresh coffee and smiled at Karin thankfully.

The three of them sat in front of the holo fire, they didn't talk about Jen, tonight wasn't the time. Instead they talked of good times; Amelia spoke of happy times on Mindoir, Jeff of meeting his new sister Hilary for the first time on Tiptree, Karin of the mischief she and Sarah got up to in the academy. Tonight was for happiness; the sadness could wait until later.

**To Be Continued...**

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><p><strong>AN: Hey guys,**

**Sorry it's a bit later released than the last few have been, I've started writing a blog as well so the pace on MEMB is slowing a little, plus both my beta readers have buggered off on holiday! Rude, but thank you Mike for stepping in, big help!**

**So I have a few questions for you; I'd like to hear your thoughts on the below things, it will help with my inspiration for chapter 7. So please take a few minutes to leave a review and let me know what you think. (even guests can review without messing with making accounts!)**

*** So was the result of the cliffhanger what you thought?**

*** How do you feel about Jen's reaction?**

*** Do you think Shepard loves her enough to finally let her in, or are they doomed?**

**Thanks all for your time, and please keep reading, favouriting, reviewing and sharing!**

**Jess**


	7. Chapter 7 - Ductus Exemplo

**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

**WARNING PLEASE NOTE:** There is a scene up ahead suggesting the occurrence of a sexual assault. It is a brief and vague reference with no descriptions of the assault however I wanted to make you aware just in case.

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><p><span><strong>Ductus Exemplo<strong>

Amelia cradled her fourth mug of coffee and stared through the holo-fire, sleep would not grace her with it's presence tonight, of that she was sure. The conversation from earlier with Karin was still buzzing around in her head.

**-o-**

"_Have you asked yourself why you haven't let her in?" Karin probed._

"_I...I don't know." Amelia replied while avoiding eye contact._

"_Do you love her?"_

"_Yes, I think so...I don't know. I thought I did, but, when my CO told me I could only go to funeral if Jen went with me, all I could think was that I didn't want her there. If I loved her wouldn't I want her there?"_

_The question had been rhetorical, but Karin chose to pursue an answer anyway. _

"_Will you let me tell you what I think?"_

_There was a moment of pause before Amelia nodded once for Karin to continue._

_"I think when you joined The Alliance, you created a protective barrier around the Amelia we know and adore. The problem came when you met Jen, who was part of The Alliance, you didn't know how to let her in and still keep the rest out. So you took the easy option and kept her out too."_

_Karin studied Amelia's face trying to get a read on her, she looked so lost._

_Amelia's remorse filled eyes met Karin's, "I don't want to lose her, but I don't know if I can fix this, even if she gave me the chance to try, I don't know how to..." with that her final thread of control snapped._

_"Oh darling, come here." Karin said pulling Amelia into a protective embrace, an embrace Amelia knew so well, here she was free to be scared and weak without judgement or consequence._

_When the sobs subsided, Karin handed Amelia the tissues and stroked her damp copper hair out of her face. After cleaning herself up Amelia gave Karin a sheepish look, "Sorry."_

_"Darling, the day you have to apologise to me for being human is the day I don't deserve the privilege to see it." _

_"Ha," Amelia laughed "a privilege to see me in such a mess? You are a twisted woman."_

_"Well I'm pretty sure Jen would give anything to see that side of you, so apparently it's a privilege."_

_"Ouch, don't worry what wounds you poor that salt on will you?" Amelia said raising an eyebrow._

_Karin smirked and shook her head as she took a mouthful of her now tepid tea. Staring into the mug she thought for a moment, then looking up at Amelia she asked "Why did you let me in?"_

_Amelia, who had been drinking her coffee at the time almost choked in response. She wasn't sure why, but this question felt like she'd had a live grenade dropped in her lap. When she caught her breath she was still trying to assemble some sort of reply. "Errm…"_

"_It's just...that day on Mindoir when I found you, I saw you shutting down in front of me. One minute your eyes glazed over and I was sure I wouldn't get another word from you. The next minute, I don't know, but it was as if someone just switched the lights back on and then you told me your name."_

_For a moment Amelia considered lying, but aside from the fact she couldn't think of anything believable to say, she didn't lie to Karin and even if she did, Karin would know in an instant. "Ok, but you're gonna think I'm crazy."_

_Amelia saw Karin's brow furrow, she knew she wouldn't like the idea of Amelia having kept something from her._

"_I hope that is a joke, because I would never think you were crazy. I love you more than anyone else in the galaxy Amelia Shepard." Karin said without even a hint of a playful tone._

_Despite getting the distinct feeling she'd just been scolded, Amelia couldn't stop the corners of her mouth stretching from ear to ear. "I love you too mum."_

_Although she didn't say it often, she did occasionally call Karin mum, not mom, someone else already held that title, but with Karin being English, mum felt, acceptable._

_Karin tried, and failed to fight the smile, "Now don't think you can get out of trouble by sucking up to me young lady." She said with a warmth in her voice._

_Amelia smiled and then gave a Karin serious look, "You're right, I was shutting down, it all hurt so much and it felt like I was drowning in the pain. So I started building a wall around myself to lock myself away."_

_Karin nodded showing that was what she had suspected "Then what stopped you?"_

_"A voice, a shadowy figure helped me put a door in the wall that I was building and told me to trust you." Amelia knew how mad it sounded, but Karin's face didn't flinch for a second._

"_When you say a voice, you mean there was actually someone there? Not just like when having an inner conversation with your conscience?"_

_Amelia stared into to holo-fire "No, I have plenty of those conversations. This was...it felt like there was someone else in my head, telling me not to cut myself off, she said that there would be no going back if I did. That I should trust you and David because you would keep me safe." She looked back at Karin who was studying her, "She was right. I don't want to imagine what my life would have been like without you."_

"_Well, whoever it was, whatever their motivations were, I for one, am glad they were there to stop you. The thought of not having you in my life...well, let's not even go there." Karin said with a frown._

_The two women sat in silence for a moment, almost as if giving thanks to whoever it was that brought them together._

_It was Karin that broke the silence, "Well, getting back on topic, I'm going to give you my closing opinion. Jen is a wonderful girl that adores the part of you that you let her have and I know she would love the other part of you all the more. If you love her, you'd be a fool not to try and let her in. If you don't, then it's time to leave her be."_

_Amelia nodded slowly, "I know. I do love her, but I'm scared."_

"_The Amelia Shepard I know wouldn't let fear stop her from achieving her goals, so think on it. Now I must go to sleep." Karin leaned across the sofa and kissed Amelia on the forehead. "Try and get some sleep too, I love you."_

_Amelia smiled, "Can't promise sleep, but love you too."_

**-o-**

Here she was, two hours later, as far from sleep as anyone could get, but at least she now knew what she was going to do.

She poured the last of the coffee into her mug, turned on the vid-screen and settled down to kill the remaining few hours left until morning, by watching reruns of 'Colony Life', a terrible soap opera that shouldn't have been aired the first time, let alone rerun.

* * *

><p>"I said I'd call you when I was ready to talk." Jen said irritation in her tone.<p>

Amelia had hoped she might be invited in, but judging by Jen's body language it was clear that wasn't going to happen, so the porch it was. "I know, but I realised if you were going to be thinking everything over, I should at least give you something worth thinking about."

Jen looked away, Amelia guessed she was deciding whether to shut the door in her face. "Ok." she said stepping onto the porch and closing the door behind her.

Amelia leaned against the railing looking out over the beach, Jen's parents' place was stunning.

"So I guess I need to start from the beginning for it to make the slightest sense. I was sixteen when the batarian's attacked Mindoir. It was just a normal summer day and I was at the movies with my girlfriend and my sisters. I went to the bathroom while the girls waited in the foyer, I heard the gunshots, but all three of them were dead by the time I got back out. I killed the batarian that killed them with his own shotgun. That's the real reason I haven't been back inside a movie theatre since."

Amelia paused, looked at Jen seeing the horror on her face and hesitated before continuing. "There was so much death, my sisters, girlfriend, parents, the whole damn colony. No sixteen year old should have to kill to survive. If it wasn't for Karin, they would have thrown me into a kid's psych facility. God knows what sort of a mess I'd been right now."

"I had no idea. You always played it down, I thought the stories were all exaggerated." Jen whispered.

"When I joined The Alliance, I knew there'd be more death, so I decided to protect myself from it, but then you found me. I should have let you in, but I was scared, I was a coward and kept you out too." Amelia turned to Jen and looked into her eyes, "I'm not tell you this to try and win a sympathy vote and I'm not trying to excuse what I did, I just wanted you to know why."

As Jen stared at her, Amelia felt as if she was touching her very soul. "Thank you, for telling me. It helps me understand a little more how we got to where we are. But I can't have a relationship with a disguise Amelia."

"I know, I wouldn't expect you to...anymore. I _do _love you Jen, I want to let you in, to let you get to know the side of me that Jeff and Karin know. I'm just not sure how, but if you're willing to give me a chance, I want to try." Amelia was almost pleading, even she hadn't realised how much she loved Jen until she was right here in this moment.

Jen looked out over the sand, "We can't just jump back to how things were, I'm going to continue to stay with my parents, but I am willing to give us a try. No more secrets though, no matter how hard or how much it hurts, you have to be open and honest with me."

Amelia nodded, "I will, I promise."

* * *

><p>"Marines, I shouldn't have to tell you the gravity of this mission, we do this for the colonists who lost their lives during the Elysium attack. Your heads must be in the game, there is no room for mistakes. We <em>will<em> show those batarians they cannot attack a human colony and get away with it. _Who's with me?!_"

"_Oorah_." the deafening battle cry echoed off the hanger's structure.

It wasn't hard to discern that General Rosenberg had a personal stake in this mission. Losing anyone was enough to spark an ember for revenge, but to lose your entire family, that created a blaze.

"Then let's get this done. _Semper Fi_." the General said dismissing the marines before him.

"_Do or Die!_" the chorus of voices rang out in regimented unison.

Two hundred marines under one roof, a spellbinding demonstration of the level of discipline drilled into marines. Two hundred salutes in perfect unison, two hundred voices so in time they were as one, it was a spine tingling experience, one that never failed to fill him with pride.

As the crowd dispersed into their brigades, the brigade leaders gathered around the General for their specific orders.

"Major Kyle, I want the 201st to take lead on the day, I'm assigning Second Lieutenant Shepard as your second for this mission." the General ordered.

"With all due respect General, Shepard is not the highest ranked marine in my brigade and has no active duty leadership experience."

Rosenberg could see the reluctance in Kyle's eyes, he was right that Shepard wasn't seasoned in leadership, but even in training she exuded exceptional leadership skills. Her potential was far superior than Kyle's ever would be. What Kyle didn't need to know was why he wanted Shepard.

"And she never will if we don't give her the chance, will she Major? Is everyone clear on their brigade's roles tomorrow?"

"Sir yes Sir" the brigade leaders replied.

"Dismissed. Major Kyle, when you've finished briefing your team, send Shepard to my office."

"I...yes Sir."

* * *

><p>Shepard took a deep breath before knocking on the steel office door. She had been shocked when her CO said she was second for this mission, ignoring the fact she had no active duty leadership experience, this was also an important mission. From the Major's body language she could tell he wasn't happy about it, so the decision was an order from the General, but why?<p>

"Come," the bassy voice commanded, "ah Shepard, come in."

Shepard focused on calming her nerves as she drew to attention two feet from the shabby desk.

Rosenberg looked up and Shepard was sure she saw a twitch at the corners of his mouth. "At ease Second Lieutenant. I suppose you're wondering why I assigned you as 201st's second for this mission."

"That had crossed my mind Sir." Shepard replied still not feeling overly at ease.

Rosenberg turned his back to Shepard and looked out the window, the only redeeming feature of the dingy little office, it wasn't exactly what Shepard had expected for a General.

"You and I have something in common Shepard, we both lost our entire families to those batarian bastards. I know you were only a teenager when it happened, but I've read the reports, I know what hell you had to go through to survive that. Something like that changes a person."

To say Shepard was uncomfortable with this conversation would have been a colossal understatement, this wasn't a topic she spoke about with anyone but Karin, and even then, they hadn't spoken in detail in a long time. She was most definitely not looking for a heart to heart with her CO's CO.

"My wife and three children were murdered in cold blood on Elysium, the youngest was nine months old. Tomorrow would have been her third birthday. You more than any of the two hundred marines out there understand that burn for revenge. Major Kyle is a good leader, but he's weak, when it comes to it, he won't be able to do what needs to be done. That's why you have to be his second."

"What needs to be done Sir?" Shepard was getting a bad feeling about where this conversation was leading.

_What is he asking?_

"Take no prisoners. They didn't show mercy to unarmed civilians; we will not show mercy to them. Whatever the cost, not one batarian will leave that moon alive, is that clear?"

Shepard's mind was reeling.

_He can't seriously be ordering me to ensure anyone that surrenders is executed._

"Sir, I _do _understand the burn for revenge, but, what you're asking, it's against protocol. The Major wouldn't do that, to ensure that was carried out, I'd have to…"

"Deem the Major unfit and relieve him of duty." the General finished her sentence with a detached tone, as if he'd just told her to pat her CO on the back.

Shepard stared at him incredulously.

_Say something._

_Like what? 'Yes Sir of course I'll overthrow my CO and lead a merciless massacre.'?_

_Or 'No Sir, I have morals and I won't be party to this madness.'?_

_Which will undoubtedly be the end of my career._

_Not necessarily..._

"Shepard?" The General said startling Shepard from her thoughts. "Can I count on you? Or did I misjudge your dedication to The Alliance? The success of this mission would be an excellent boost for your career. The failure of it however…"

_And there is it…_

_What now?_

_Only one thing for it._

Shepard closed her eyes and found the wall in front of her. As she opened the door the memories she was looking for hit her full force.

_The theatre foyer, Hailey and her sister's lifeless bodies laying encircled in a pool of their own blood, the faceless batarian laying at the side of them._

_Her home, the tell tale smear of blood on the outside of their front door. Her father's body tied to a chair, facing her mothers bloody, violated body left indecently exposed on their living room floor._

_Countless bodies strewn across the colony's streets, now a wash with Mindoir blood, blood that would never wash away._

As she closed the door and opened her eyes, she felt a vengeful inferno blaze inside, an inferno that would get the job done, whatever the cost.

"No Sir, you did not misjudge my dedication. It will be done."

She saw a smug look pass across the General's face that made her feel nauseous, the son of a bitch had her exactly where he wanted her and he knew it. "Excellent, I have every confidence in you Shepard." The General said as he walked round the desk and stood directly in front of her, "Ductus Exemplo."

Shepard looked him in the eyes. How could he act with honour after giving such dishonourable orders. She did not reply, a slight nod and salute and she was dismissed.

* * *

><p>Amelia's head was spinning as she made her way through the corridors. The full realisation of what she had just agreed to hit her as she had closed the door behind her, mass murder at any cost. She felt physically sick and barely made it to the toilet before throwing up.<p>

When her stomach had nothing left to give she exited the stall and splashed her face with water, looking at the stranger in the mirror. "What have I done?" she whispered aloud.

"What's wrong?" The familiar voice behind her startled her, "Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump."

Amelia looked at Jen through the mirror, she was in no state of mind to hide anything at that moment, she also realised, for the first time, she didn't want to hide from her.

When Jen registered the look on Amelia's face, concern flooded her eyes. She ran over to Amelia, turned her round and cupped her face in her hands. "Baby what's wrong?"

As Jen studied her, Amelia realised Jen was seeing more of the real Amelia Shepard in that moment than she had in the last two years of their relationship. "I've made a huge mistake." Amelia managed to say before the tears took control.

* * *

><p>They both sat in silence on the surprisingly clean bathroom floor, both leaning against the cold tiled wall. Jen had listened as Amelia told her of everything that had happened behind that hateful steel door.<p>

"I can't believe he's put you in this position, he blackmailed you and now he can court martial you for disobeying orders if you don't go through with it." Jen said disbelief lacing every word.

"God Jen what do I do? Maybe I should just go tell him I won't do it and accept the court martial here and now."

"You can't do that, it's not fair."

"At any cost...what if our intel is wrong and we're hopelessly out numbered? He still expects it done, we could lose the majority of the marines and he wouldn't care. Is that what I'm supposed to do? Not care?" Amelia said dropping her head onto her knees in defeat. "Either way I've lost."

"Not if the intel is good and we keep to a solid strategy." Jen said putting her marine head on.

"But I still have to lead a massacre, no prisoners, armed or not, no batarian leaves that planet alive. That's what he said. I'm no fan of batarians, but, I'm a marine, not a murderer." Amelia said with disgust.

"Well, it's not a colony, it's a base for criminals. It's not ideal, but…it could be worse. Whatever you decide I'm with you." There wasn't a second of hesitation in Jen's words.

Amelia lifted her head and looked into Jen's caramel eyes with amazement. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>"You have to do something, this could undo all the good that has happened since our first intervention." The Second said panicstricken.<p>

"What would you have me do? Convince her to not go ahead with it? You heard them, that will result in her being discharged from The Alliance, then what use would she be?" The First countered.

"I...she is such a different person to what she was the first time round. She has such a rich life now, I hate to think that this might turn her back to how she was." The Second replied sadly.

The First moved to her and rested her hand on her shoulder, "I know, but just look at the extreme differences in how she has reacting this time to last. The first time she was gleeful at the proposition, this time she was physically sick because of it. She has also confided in Jennifer which will give her support on the mission and help keep her grounded. It will scar her, but I believe she will get no satisfaction from what is to come."

The Second let out a sigh in defeat and nodded "You are right, I just wish there was another way."

* * *

><p>It hadn't taken long for Kyle to lose his nerve and call a retreat, Shepard had hoped, just for a minute that he'd have the courage to follow through, that she wouldn't need to make a choice, but no such luck.<p>

The look on his face when she relieved him of duty and took control of the mission would forever be burnt into Shepard's memory, a look of betrayal, disbelief and anger.

It turned out, their intel wasn't good, they were vastly outnumbered. Under normal circumstances any Commanding Officer would have called for a full retreat, but these weren't normal circumstances. Despite their disadvantage in numbers, they had the element of surprise and the benefit of all being trained to be the best.

As the last batarians threw down their arms and surrendered, Shepard radioed for what was left of The Alliance brigades to report in. All reports confirmed either all hostiles down or surrendered.

She reached for her radio. "Final orders. All remaining hostiles are to be terminated."

"_Terminated? But ma'am, they've surrendered, they're unarmed and on their knees." _a voice crackled over the radio. She had expected to be questioned, she would have herself if she was given that order.

"General Rosenberg's orders. Take no prisoners. So I say again, terminate remaining hostiles, quick and clean. All brigade leaders please acknowledge."

They all hesitantly reported acknowledged and understood.

Shepard turned and looked at the now terrified batarians before her, closing her eyes, she dug deep, when she found the face she was looking for she opened her eyes. Every batarian in front of her was now wearing the same face, the face of the first batarian she killed.

Drawing her heavy pistol she took aim and shot each one between their four eyes, quick and clean.

When all teams had reported all hostiles terminated she ordered the remaining fifty seven marines to regroup at the extraction point.

Jen come up along side Amelia. "One hundred and forty three losses." Amelia whispered for only Jen to hear.

"We were up against double our own numbers, having anyone come out alive is a miracle and it's thanks to your leadership." Jen whispered in reply.

"With those odds, the best leadership would have pulled out."

"But that wasn't an option you were given. You made the best of a bad situation. Hang on to that."

Amelia looked a Jen, giving her a slight smile. "Thank you. I don't think I could have…"

As the deafening explosion threw them both backwards Amelia felt a searing pain shoot through her right thigh. She tried to get her bearings while fighting a wave of nausea while explosions and gunfire went off around her, they'd walked into an ambush.

Hard as she tried she couldn't clear her head of the fog, she realised she must have a concussion. She tried to think back through the seconds before the blast, it must have been a proximity grenade, when she realise where it originated her blood ran cold, Jen was closer to the blast.

Amelia tried to call out for Jen but her weak voice was lost in the ongoing battle. Eventually an eerie quiet fell over the battlefield.

"Shepard?" She heard one of her squad say, "Thank god you're alive, don't talk ma'am we'll get you both out of here."

_Both? _she breathed a mental sigh of relief, Jen was alive too. With that knowledge consciousness left her.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

Hey again,

I'd like to apologise for making you wait so long for this new chapter (although I have a feeling one a fortnight may become an average from here on out), I appreciate your patience and I hope this satisfies your need for a while!

I hope you all enjoyed that and it has left you wanting more!

It's exactly 6 weeks today since I published the 1st chapter of MEMB! In those 6 weeks it has received nearly 1100 views on fanfiction alone. The positive response is overwhelming and I am very grateful to all you readers out there!

I wanted to give you all some context on the meaning of and reason for using the two latin phrases I included. I apologise to any marines if I have used them in a not so correct context, I researched as much as I could to try and make sure it was used as it should be.

"The motto here at officer candidates school is _Ductus Exemplo, _which is latin for _Lead by Example." - _Capt Chad. J. Althiser."_Semper fidelis_ is a Latin phrase that means 'always faithful' or 'always loyal'. Well known in the United States as the motto of the United States Marine Corps and often shortened to _semper fi_in Marine contexts." - wikipediaThe reply _Do or Die_ is taken from a marines song lyrics _"Semper Fi, do or die, hold 'em high at 8th and I" _and can be used as a reply to _Semper Fi._

Once again heads up to elmjuniper for your encouragement and beta reading!

**Thanks to you all for reading and please do comment to let me know what you think!**_  
><em>

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><p><em>Please take some time to check out my website .com<em>

_Find me on deviantART: .com_

_Follow me on Twitter: /jessie2cv_

_and Like my page on Facebook: jessie2cv_


	8. Chapter 8 - Aftermath

**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

* * *

><p><span><strong>Aftermath<strong>

The transport back to Earth had felt so slow; every passing minute felt like an hour. So it was the last straw when they finally reached Vancouver port and found an hour delay for docking due to a minor collision. "Flight Lieutenant, trust me when I say you do not want be the one stood in my way today"

"But Commander, they won't let me dock Sir, there's a huge backlog of ships before us." the pilot said waving his hand at the com a little flustered.

Anderson frowned, first at the pilot, then at the com. "Patch me through." he barked.

"I...errm, yes Sir." He stuttered opening a channel. "Docking control, this is SSV Curtiss...again; I have Commander Anderson here requesting to speak with you."

"SSV Curtiss, this is docking control, put him through."

Anderson moved further into the cockpit, closer to the com. "This is Commander Anderson, I urgently need to dock, a soldier in my command has been critically injured and I need to get to the hospital immediately." Ok, so she wasn't in his command, but it had to sound all business, not personal.

"I'm sorry Sir, but I have over twenty ships in front of you, all claiming to be urgent. So unless you have paperwork stating you're a surgeon on your way to perform a life saving operation, a bedside visit does not take precedence."

Anderson frowned "I understand this is an unavoidable situation, but..."

"I'm so glad you understand Sir and we appreciate your patience. Docking control out."

"Wise ass little son of a bitch!" Anderson yelled at the disconnected com. Spinning round, he stared defiantly at the pilot, who was now squirming in his chair, knowing he would be getting the brunt of this shit storm.

"Fine, if they won't let us dock, we won't dock. Get low enough so I can land without breaking a leg."

"Sir?" an apprehensive frown appeared on the young man's face.

"You are going to open that hatch, and I'm going to jump out, and if you don't, then it will be you standing in my way. Are we clear?"

Anderson watched the flight lieutenant weighing up what would be worse, a reprimand for breaching docking protocols, or Anderson's wrath. "Yes Sir, we're clear."

* * *

><p>Anderson was still trying to get his head around the situation as he walked through the maze of hospital corridors. Even having read the reports from the surviving marines, there was still so many questions.<p>

Why was a two week old second lieutenant listed as second in command of such an important mission? Why did she declare her CO unfit and then engage combat when they were totally outnumbered? She knew better than that. None of it made sense.

_Of course it makes sense, they were batarian slavers, this was personal for her, a perfect opportunity to exact revenge._

_No, she wouldn't do that. We taught her better than that, she knows revenge isn't the way.  
><em>

_You sure about that? You were there on Mindoir, you saw what she lived through, what she had to do to survive._

_We helped her through it, I know this can't be what it seems._

_How many cat-6 discharges have you seen in your time? Seasoned marines that never fully recovered from PTSD. You think anyone, let alone a child, could live through that kind of trauma and maintain a balanced moral compass?_

_I…_

"Anderson?" the familiar voice said breaking him free from his disturbing thoughts.

"Jeff? How is she?"

"She's alive, although you wouldn't believe it to look at her." His usual jovial tone was replaced by something darker. It was hardly surprising, to almost lose his best friend less than a week after losing his mother... "ICU is this way."

"This place is like a damn maze." Anderson said to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them as they walked.

"Heh, yeah it's a bit of a nightmare the first few times you need to get around."

"I take it Karin's here?"

"Hell yes, just try and get her to leave. She hasn't left the room since Lia came out of surgery two days ago. I mean I know I'm off the crutches these days, but these new bracers didn't make me bionic man, carrying two coffees and snacks with this hobble really isn't easy. Speaking of which, mind helping a cripple out?" he quipped, showing a glimpse of the Jeff they all knew.

"Oh sure," Anderson said taking the coffees. "It doesn't shock me that she hasn't left though."

They had both been her guardians, but had played very different roles. Anderson knew Amelia had been closest to her father and wouldn't want a replacement, so he took on a mentor role, even though she meant much more to him than that. Karin however, had taken an active parenting role and Amelia had embraced it.

They were a good balance for her; while Anderson focused on building her confidence and encouraging her in her training, Karin gave her the love and emotional support she needed.

Very early on in their guardianship roles, both he and Karin had noticed worrying changes in Amelia's attitude. It seemed the more she was able to reflect on what happened on Mindoir, the more angry she grew. She was developing a hatred of alien races that would only get worse if it wasn't defused immediately.

They knew they had to act fast and extinguish the developing discriminations, before she became an all out xenophobe. Both he and Karin had seen soldiers go down the dangerous path of seeking revenge, that was no way to live your life and not what The Alliance was for either.

Anderson arranged that she had an asari biotics tutor and they both frequently took her to The Citadel and Pinnacle Station, where she would have constant social contact with all alien races. Sarah even invited her Salarian colleague to join them at the cabin one Christmas.

Luckily, Amelia's parent's had brought her and her sisters up to be unprejudiced and accepting of all, so it didn't take too long for the anger, blame and discrimination to subside. They were then able to help her focus on the future and support her continued journey of coming to terms with the past.

"Anderson..." He hadn't realised how deep in his own thoughts he was, until Jeff called him from the doorway of a side room a little further back. He stopped and turned so suddenly the hot coffee slopped over the cups, scalding his fingers.

"God damn that's h…" he froze in the doorway. His breath caught and every hair stood on end as he took in the sight before him.

A frazzled looking Karin was sat beside the bed stroking Amelia's left cheek and arm with care. Every inch of visible skin was either bruised or burnt and the right side of her head and face mostly covered by bandages.

"Oh Lord...Amelia." He whispered shakily as the air left his lungs. The room began to spin and he had to focus hard to control his breathing. My little girl.

From the look of surprise on her face, Karin hadn't even heard them enter the room. When she looked at him, he saw the depth of sorrow in her eyes.

Putting the coffees down on the table beside him, he rushed over to her and as the two friends embraced, Karin lost all poise. From where they stood Anderson was looking straight down at Amelia, she looked so small and weak, it reminded him of the day they found her on Mindoir.

"Oh child, what have you done…" he said in barely a whisper and clenched his jaw together tightly to fight off the wave of oppressive emotions threatening to overwhelm him.

* * *

><p>As Karin watched him stare glassy eyed at the impressive view through the hospital room's panoramic windows, Anderson asked her "So what did her doctor say? Is she going to make a full recovery?"<p>

Joining his gaze out the window she spoke wearily "Despite appearances, her burns and head injury aren't too bad, with any luck she may not even have any scars above her waist. The real problem was her leg, due to shrapnel severing her artery; we were lucky there was a field medic in her squad and that he acted so quick or we wouldn't have a hospital bed to sit beside."

She saw, out of the corner of her eye, how Anderson clenched his jaw as he absorbed the reality of how very close to losing her they had been.

"Did she tell you her and Jen had talked things over and agreed to give it a go?" Jeff asked breaking the silence.

"Yes." Karin replied focusing on the view that was behind the window, "It's beautiful, the bonus of being a doctor I guess, your daughter gets a room with a view...oh God, we almost lost her." Her voice quivered, straining to maintain composure.

Jeff hobbled to stand at Karin's side, "But we didn't, she's here, and she'll wake up soon. What I don't get is what the hell they were thinking, sending so many fresh marines on a mission like that? What the shit happened out there?"

"I've read the reports of the surviving marines that were fit enough to report, it still doesn't make any sense." Anderson replied.

"I guess we won't know until she wakes." Jeff muttered.

"Chip?" They all jumped at the weak voice that came from behind them.

Karin rushed over to her, Jeff hobbling fast as he could behind her. "Oh my darling," Karin said stroking Amelia's face and kissing her forehead, not caring as tears of relief ran down her own cheeks.

Amelia leant into the hand on her cheek and smiled, followed by a wince "Damn..." she said with a sharp exhale, "my head."

"Lia, how you feelin?" Jeff said pulling up to the other side of the bed.

"Like I've been run over by a Mako a few dozen times, how am I looking?" Amelia flinched as she asked, Karin knew she wasn't a vain girl, but she was naturally beautiful and anyone would be a little apprehensive.

"Not bad at all, it only looks like the Mako got you three or four times." Anderson piped up from the end of the bed.

"Haha-oowwwwww-you, bastard." she whined while trying to fight more agonising laughter, which wasn't being helped by Chip laughing at her pain.

When they had both calmed down, Anderson, who was now stood beside Jeff, asked "I know you've only just come to, but all reports so far don't make sense, do you remember what happened?"

"W-we had a mission on Torfan," she frowned as if searching deep within for answers.

"Take your time." Karin said stroking her hand.

"I…Major Kyle briefed us, he said I was to be second and to go see..." she clenched her jaw and then flinched at the pain that came with the movement, locking eyes with Anderson, she said "we need to talk Sir."

The formality that suddenly steeled her words took everyone by surprise. Still, she looked at Karin and Jeff apologetically, "I'm sorry, but this needs to be done officially."

To say Karin was concerned would have been an understatement, but she wasn't going to argue, something untoward had clearly happened and Amelia wanted it to be handled correctly. "Ok darling, I suppose it wouldn't hurt me to go home and get a shower and some fresh clothes." Looking up at David she said, "Call me, if anything..."

"Of course." he nodded.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Amelia watched as Anderson paced up and down her room "That son of a bitch, blackmailing a subordinate into carrying out his dirty work. Well he picked with the wrong marine to manipulate, no one messes with my kid and gets away with it."<p>

Amelia buried the desire to smile; when she started telling him about the events that unfolded with Rosenberg, she'd prepared herself to be the target of Anderson's wrath. After all, with her history, it would look like she was doing it to satisfy her own revenge. She hadn't even considered Anderson would to go into protective father mode. "I shouldn't have gone through with it though."

"He blackmailed you Amelia, you weren't given much choice. You got forty eight marines out of there alive, that, in itself should have been impossible given the odds you faced."

"Forty eight?" she questioned with a frown. "We had fifty seven marines when I ordered everyone to head to the extraction point."

Anderson stopped and gave her a concerned look "and then you were ambushed. That's how you got injured, don't you remember?"

Amelia's frown deepened, it was silly, but it hadn't occurred to her to question how she had received such severe injuries. As she fought her way through her still foggy memory, trying to recall what happened after the mission, she was startled out of her thoughts by a voice from the doorway.

"Am I ok to return?" Karin said looking a lot more collected than when she'd left.

"I think we're good." Anderson nodded, appearing calmer now.

"I stopped by your apartment to grab some things for you." Karin said putting the bag down on a chair.

"Our apartment..." at that moment there was a small clearing in the fog. "Karin...where's Jen?"

**-o-**

The colour drained from Karin's face as she realised what conversation had just been set in motion.

"We were together when they ambushed us, I know she was alive 'cos one of the marine's told me they'd get us both out of there."

Karin couldn't tell if the confidence in Amelia's voice was genuine belief in what she was saying, or pure denial.

"So, she must be another room right? Is she ok? How bad were her injuries?"

Karin tried to force words from her mouth, but the truth was, she didn't know what to say. Then she saw a flicker of uncertainty flash over Amelia's face. Looking at her daughter she could see the plea in her eyes, begging her to say everything was going to be ok.

**-o-**

"Amelia, darling. I don't think you understand how close to dying you were."

_Why is she telling me about my injuries, I asked about Jen..._

_Think about it, who was closest to the explosion?_

_No, she was alive..._

The look on Karin's face and the silence as she searched for words that would not come, sent a chill up Amelia's spine. Karin was never lost for words, she always knew the right thing to say, but in this moment, her silence said far more than any words could have.

"No. No, no, no, no...that can't….NO." she screamed in defiance.

As the images flashed before her eyes a despair like none she'd ever felt washed over her.

_The batarian ambush; so much blood, so many bodies laying at her feet, her mother, father, sisters, Hailey, Jeff, Sarah, Anderson, Karin...and Jen. Then a voice, Jen's voice, whispering "If you'd loved me as I deserved, I would be alive."_

_More voices, voices of the dead taunting her. Hailey, "If you hadn't left us alone in the foyer, we'd be alive."_

_Her father, "If you'd trained your biotics as I told you, you could have protected us all."_

_Karin, David and Jeff in unison, "If we hadn't met you we'd be alive."_

**-o-**

"Karin, David, Jeff please no...I'm so sorry, it's all my fault."

Karin watched as Amelia's eyes grew wild, like a cornered animal, it was something she had seen before in marines, but never in her daughter, and it terrified her.

Despite the agony the movement alone must have caused, Amelia ripped at the cables and tubes attached to her, Karin ran forward to try and restrain her. "David, she's having a psychotic break, help me restrain her...David!"

With that, Anderson seemed to break from the horrified trance he was in and rushed to help. As he held Amelia down while she continued to thrash and wail, Karin hammered the call button.

As the doctor and nurse entered at the same time Karin shouted "She needs sedating."

_Please, God, or whoever it is looking out for her, don't let this happen, I can't lose her. Please make her strong enough to get through this._

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful view across Vancouver port. "Was it pot luck or was a beautiful view picked particularly as the therapy room?"<p>

There was a chuckle from Dr. Loca "A bit of both, I pitched for this room, but honestly they didn't really care what you wanted, I just got lucky."

Amelia smiled, she liked Dr. Loca. He was the first person other than Karin that she actually felt comfortable talking openly to, for a psychiatrist that was a big achievement.

"Would you like to talk about anything in particular today?"

It had been three weeks since her break, she had been moved to the Alliance psych ward once her other injuries were deemed to be out of critical condition. Dr. Loca had been at medical school with Karin and had promised to personally take care of her recovery, and he had.

"I remembered something new last night. The shuttle back to the transport; I came to for a few seconds, I looked to my left and saw Jen, or..." she paused as she fought the overwhelming emotions that came with the memory. "...I think it was her. She was so burnt up, they were all frantically working on her, but then they stopped...they...just stopped. I must have passed out again after that."

"I know it doesn't feel like it, but this is a step in the right direction. You knew deep down that Jen hadn't made it, but you'd blocked it out. The fact that you are able to see an almost unbearably painful experience again...it is progress." Dr. Loca said in a sympathetic yet reassuring tone.

Amelia nodded slowly wiping away the tear that had escaped. She'd done more crying in the last three weeks than she had in the past two years combined, and it was getting old.

"I'm...glad Jen and I had talked before. In some ways it feels so unfair that we had started to make progress with our issues, only to have her stolen from me. But then I think how terrible it would have been to have never had her forgiveness."

"You need to hold on to that, yes it is painful and unfair, but it would have felt no less painful, and instead you would have also had guilt and what if's. Speaking of guilt...have you thought anymore about the Mindoir vision you had?"

"I...no. I've tried not to to be honest. It felt so...real."

"But it wasn't real. Karin, Jeff and David are still alive."

"I know. Rationally I know that if I'd been in the foyer with the girls I'd be dead too, and even if I'd worked on my biotics there's no way I could have saved everyone. But I still can't push the guilt of surviving away."

"No, and that is likely something you will never be able to fully extinguish. You just have to hang on to the rational facts to keep the irrational guilt from overwhelming you."

Amelia nodded and turned to give the Dr. a melancholy smile. "It's Jen's birthday today, I...I think I'd like to go visit her if that's ok?"

She hadn't attended the funeral due to her mental state at the time, and she hadn't yet been able to bring herself to go visit the grave. But having regained such a pinnacle memory, to actually remember losing her, she couldn't think of a more appropriate day to bite the bullet.

"I'm happy for you to do that if you feel comfortable to. Might I suggest you take Karin with you though."

Amelia nodded, that hadn't even been a question for her, she need the most important people in her life by her side, now more than ever.

* * *

><p>Karin and Jeff stood back as Amelia laid the single white rose across the foot of the headstone and brushed her fingers over the letters that were so beautifully etched into the white marble.<p>

"I'm sorry I couldn't be here, kinda went a little batshit crazy." Amelia chuckled at the thought of what Jen would say in reply. "I understand now, and I'm going to make Rosenberg pay for all the lives he sacrificed, I promise. I'll always love you Jen."

Karin helped her stand and then Jeff handed her her crutches..._oh the irony._

Second Lieutenant Amelia Shepard had a purpose, a goal again...revenge, and she knew exactly how she would execute it.

She knew she wouldn't be able to wait very long, if she waited until after her hearing she'd lose access to him. It was going to be tough enough as it was, she wasn't exactly inconspicuous with her crutches and brace.

But she couldn't afford to bring anyone else in on this, they could end up being held accountable when shit hit the fan.

No, this was hers and hers alone.

* * *

><p><em>Are you sure this is the best idea?<em>

_It's the least crappy out of a whole load of really crap ideas..._

_Well how about not doing anything?_

_You're kiddin? And let him get away with what he made us do? You're the one that's always telling me to be brave...now I am, you're gonna pussy out on me?_

_I just think we should at least tell Anderson, you know, covering our ass?_

_And who's gonna cover his?_

_You and I both know he'll be furious when he finds out we kept him in the dark...call him._

* * *

><p>Amelia put her game head on as she made her way across the hanger to the dingy office where she'd made a deal with the devil four weeks prior. She adjusted her jacket to be sure the bulge of her weapon of choice wasn't showing; he was smart and she needed to be smarter.<p>

Knocking loudly she didn't wait for permission to enter, she wanted to make sure this would be played on her terms right from the start.

Rosenberg jumped out of his seat at the sudden intrusion, it was clear he had dozed off and the startled look on his face turned to caution and wariness when he registered who the intruder was. "Second-Lieutenant...what is the meaning of this?"

Amelia narrowed her eyes as her glare bore right into his tainted soul "Do you have any idea how wrong your intel was? How outnumbered we were? How many men died because of your need for revenge?! You sent us to our slaughter!" she said, disgust laced through every word.

With an arrogant snort he said "My need for revenge? The way I heard it, it was your reckless actions that put the entire operation at risk. Combine your history on Mindoir with testimonies from over twenty marines...good luck fighting a court martial with that level of evidence against you."

The smug grin on the son of a bitch's face made her blood boil "You manipulating motherf..." she stopped herself.

_Keep control, if you lose your head you're gonna lose the upper hand, you know this is our only chance…for Jen._

"You and I both know you blackmailed me into that situation, I did as you ordered, at the cost of one hundred and fifty two marines lives, one of which was my girlfriend." Her voice and glare remained cold and steely, for now she had locked away the crippling emotions, they would be of no benefit here.

He scoffed "Who do you think the Judicial Screening Board will believe? The word of a desperate Second Lieutenant barely out of training, who is facing heinous war crime charges, of which there is plenty of evidence against. Or a respected General with a twenty four year squeaky clean service record?"

"I've told Anderson, he'll back me up."

"Ha! The disgraced SPECTRE reject? Yeah, I'm sure his word is worth it's weight in gold right now. Face it kid, you're done for, I got the murders of my family avenged, not only without lifting a finger, but without even implicating myself in the task. Thank you Shepard, you did a sterling job." The arrogance in his voice was infuriating, yet she couldn't stop herself from smiling.

"No, thank _you_ General." As he turned to look at her, with a somewhat confused look on his face, she opened her jacket and pulled out the weapon that would bring his demise.

As he stared at the voice recorder in her hand, his face displayed a satisfying slideshow of emotions; from shock, to disbelief, dismay, to dread and then anger to a boiling rage. "You little fucking bitch!" he erupted as he charged at her from the other side of the room.

He was surprisingly agile for such a portly man, still a marine. She tried to move out of his path to no avail, he was moving like a vanguard on red sand and on the crutches she was at a considerable disadvantage. As his fist made contact with her left cheek Amelia lost her balance and was slammed into the wall behind her, knocking the wind out of her as she slid to the floor.

He walked over to her and slammed his boot into her chest, pinning her where she was. "You think you're so smart? But you didn't think this through all the way, did ya?" he menacingly as he drew his sidearm and pointed it at her head.

Staring up at him still trying to catch her breath, she said "I thought you didn't like getting your hands dirty?"

His eyes glistened with an evil "Oh, I like getting them dirty, I just prefer that most people never find out. The fewer that know, the fewer that can be a problem, and you my girl, are a problem."

Amelia was starting to feel he may be right, she'd underestimated him, majorly.

_Bad move Shepard._

_No shit... How about you come up with something helpful to get us out of this alive?!_

"And you think executing me is going to be something you can wriggle out of?"

_Wriggle out of? Brilliant...that'll absolutely intimidate him_.

"It was self defense, the Second Lieutenant charged in here screaming at me saying I made her do it and then stole my gun, turning it on me."

"No one will believe that." she said, knowing full well, with the exception of those that knew and loved her, that everyone would believe it.

"Oh come on Shepard, you've just spent three weeks in the looney bin, you really think they won't believe you lost it again? Now get up bitch, can't have it look like you were defenceless now can we?"

Amelia felt herself being dragged to her feet; without her crutches the pain in her right thigh was too much, her legs tried to buckle beneath her, but he wouldn't allow it. His large hand closed tight around her throat, pushing through with force, slamming her head against the wall behind her.

As her vision began to clear, she could feel a trickle of thick, warm blood rolling down the back of her neck, she must have lost consciousness. The General's hand was still tightly wrapped around her neck, he was much closer now, they were face to face and she could see a look of excitement in his eyes as his grip grew ever tighter around her neck.

Then she registered something new, his other hand was pinning her right arm to the wall, it took her a few seconds to realise that the weapon that had been pointing at her when she lost consciousness, was now in her own hand.

He must have seen her register the gun, "Like I said, can't have it look like you were defenseless." the excitement in his eyes was reflected in his voice, he was getting off on this, she had totally misread the kind of man he was.

Closing her eyes, she blocked out the outside world and focused. As static began to fill the air and a faint blue hue began to pulse from her skin, she felt the hand around her neck momentarily loosen, taking advantage she took a deep breath.

As the glow grew brighter, Jen's beautiful face filled Amelia's mind, _"You can do this baby"_. Drawing on every ounce of energy she had left, Amelia released a powerful shockwave, sending her attacker sailing across the room.

Crumpling into a heap on the floor, Amelia fought the burning physical need to lose consciousness. Looking up, she saw the motionless body laying parallel to her on the other side of the room.

_Is he dead?_

_No, look, he's breathing._

_Unconscious?_

_That, or playing possum._

_Well either way we need that gun._

_Gun?_ It was then she register the sound of the weapon that had been placed in her hand, skidding across the floor, following the sound with her eyes, she located where it stopped. Of course it was closer to Rosenberg than herself. _Crap!_

_Come on, we can do this, we have to._

She willed herself to move, but the pain in her leg and throb in her head wouldn't allow it. Summoning everything she had left, she began to glow once more, reaching for the weapon with every ounce she had left. The blue glowing extension of herself was so close, when something caught her eye, movement over the other side of the room.

She saw Rosenberg shaking off the fog, looking around the room, trying to get his bearings. They momentarily locked eyes, until his gaze dropped to the gun; then out of no where he was suddenly on his feet and flying toward the gun. Amelia was so close, but she had nothing left and close was not enough.

Collapsing to the floor, all Amelia could do was stare up at her executioner, who was now towering over her, gun in his hand and gleam in his eye. "Nice try Shepard, I have to admit I didn't see it coming, so near, but yet so far."

Amelia closed her eyes, accepting defeat; she was spent, she'd played her last card, and it wasn't enough.

_Walking up to the wall in the back of her mind, she turned the doorknob, and allowed the pain, and love and memories to engulf her. __But this time she found she was not drowning. Around her stood all those that had loved her: her parents and sisters, Hailey, Jen and Sarah. Then came those that still loved her, Karin, David and Jeff. For the first time, she realised something, all the love she had been given in her life, far out weighed the pain. That love was her life boat, she would not drown._

She heard the two gun shots, but felt no pain, here, she was protected. As the darkness took her, for the first time in many years, she finally felt at peace.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hi Guys,**

So I know it's been aaaaaaaaaaaages since I posted anything, but I made it eventually. As some of you may have seen I've had some personal issues of late, and it get me a bit of a block, but I'm hoping I may have come through the other side of it. I hope you liked chapter 8 and it was worth the wait, I've lost counts of how many drafts there's been lol.

Anyway, as ever please comment anf let me know what you think! I promise I will try not to be so long with chapter 9!

Jess


	9. Chapter 9 - The Bartender

**Disclaimer****: **Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

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><p><span><strong>The Bartender<strong>

As he sipped at his ale, Jeff took in his surroundings. The oak bar that ran in a horseshoe at the heart of the pub still had old-school beer taps and tall ale hand pumps. He hadn't realised they even still existed, he'd only ever seen them in old movies and TV shows.

Scattered throughout the bar were mismatched wooden tables, covered in what looked to be a century's worth of ring marks. There were tall round tables with upholstered stools beneath them, and some lower rectangle tables, like the one they were sat at. He studied the fixed bench that ran along the back wall of the pub. The upholstery was not to his taste, he wasn't sure how it could be to anyone's taste, but maybe it looked better without all the strains of God knows what on it. He cringed and was suddenly wishing he had chosen the chair and not the bench.

A deep sigh caught his attention and he turned to see his best friend slumped in her chair, tracing the rim of an empty pint glass with her finger. "Jeez cheer up already, anyone would think you'd been dishonorably discharged the way you're acting. This is supposed to be celebratory drinks."

Lia's brow furrowed deeper, "It's not right, I didn't earn it," she said, not taking her eyes off her glass.

"You didn't deserve to take the fall for that shit either," Jeff said shaking his head in annoyance. "Lia, this isn't just a fair outcome, it's an awesome opportunity. The N-School: the opportunity to become the elite of the elite. Black ops missions, the best gear available; how can you be bummed about being given that on a silver platter?"

Lia lurched forward, sending her glass flying to the floor, "One hundred and fifty two marines" she hissed, her eyes ablaze, "One hundred and fifty two marines dead because of me, Jeff."

Jeff leaned forward, resting a hand on top of her balled up fist. "Lia," he said softly, "it was an awful thing that happened, a senseless thing, and yes, you played your part in it, and that is something you have to come to terms with. But you were blackmailed, and the intel you were given was wrong, crazily wrong, you couldn't have known it would end as it did."

Jeff felt her fist loosen and he slipped his hand around hers, studying her face as she stared at the wall beside them. "I was selfish, it's not like he was threatening the life of someone I loved. It was only my career he was blackmailing me with, no career is worth risking lives over."

"You're an excellent marine, top of the class in everything, you're going to be an incredible N7 operative. I think you did earn your place in the program, and not just by getting forty seven marines off Torfan alive, which in itself was a miracle."

She clenched her jaw tight and swallowed hard, "That doesn't make up for the hundred and fifty-two I didn't get out alive," she managed to say with a trembling voice.

Jeff let out a little sigh, it was unusual for him to see Lia this raw with emotion, this was not a dynamic he was used to. Lia was his best friend, but she was also the sister he'd never had. Big sister, he reminded himself. Sure, he had Hilary, but with a fifteen year age gap, them living opposite sides of the galaxy and his career choice, his relationship with Hilary would never be anything like what he had with Lia. They were best friends, they confided in each other, but it was usually through a guise of banter and jokes, they kept the raw emotions for his mom or Karin.

"Do you remember the seminar at the Academy with the speaker from N-School?" His description of an N7 operative always stuck with me," Jeff sat up, puffing out his chest and in a deep voice he did an impression of the speaker "You can't train someone to be an N7 operative. Marines are trained, N7 operatives are moulded, mentally and emotionally, through trial and adversity."

Lia laughed and swatted Jeff's hand. "You're an idiot sometimes."

"Yeah, yeah, but you love it." He hesitated before his next words, "Lia, your N7 moulding began when you were sixteen." Lia's eyes were wide when they locked with his, "Look, you may not believe you've earned it, but that doesn't really change anything; I got the impression this wasn't something you had a choice in accepting. So, instead of whining and feeling sorry for yourself, use this opportunity to earn it, and honour the marines that were lost on Torfan."

Lia's eyes narrowed and Jeff half expected to be sent flying across the room with a biotic throw. Instead, she sat up straight and saluted him, "Sir, yes Sir!" she said with a smile, "thank you."

"Anytime. Now can we start celebrating, please?"

* * *

><p>The bartender stared at the datapad, seeing more of the table beneath it than the actual words and diagrams on it. She was tired, dead tired, and she wasn't doing her studies or internship any favours with these late shifts, but she found it hard to say no when Dom was so short-handed. As she tried to focus on the words in front of her, her omni-tool com beeped. Sighing, she answered "Yes, Dom?"<p>

_"Sorry, I know you're only twenty minutes into your break," her boss said in his thick cockney accent, "but some pillock just broke a glass; they're not rowdy, but they're not clearing it up, and it's too busy at the bar for me to leave. Would you mind?"_

_Saved by the pillock._ She thought with a grin. "Sure no problem, Dom, I'll be right down."

_"Cheers, you're a lifesaver."_ replied the com before the call terminated.

The bartender packed up her 2am dinner and the data pads loaded with her textbooks and notes, piled them all back into her bag in the corner of the break room and headed back down to the bar. She loved this pub, it was her favourite in all of Vancouver. It was like stepping through a portal that transported you from Vancouver 2174ce to twenty-first century London.

Dom wasn't kidding when he said he was too busy at the bar to leave, she shook her head, he should have called her down earlier to help. The hatch in the bar was covered with empty glasses, so she ducked underneath it and quickly emptied and refilled the glass washer. One downside of a retro pub was the retro glass washer. So much more hassle than needed. But she'd given up trying to convince Dom that using a modern glass washer wouldn't compromise the authenticity of the pub.

"The whole charm is that it's a 100% authentic twenty-first century English pub. It's what gives us a unique edge and I'll be damned if I compromise that." was his reply the last time she raised it with him, and she couldn't really argue, it was the pub's charm that made her fall in love with it in the first place.

She grabbed the dustpan and brush and squeezed passed Dom saying "You should have called me down earlier."

"Yeah well, you're doing me a massive favour by doing this double shift, I'm taking the piss enough as it is."

"It's fine Dom, I could have said no, it's not like I'm doing it for free. Anyway, where's that broken glass?"

"Table in the corner," she looked to where he was pointing, "two Alliance marines."

"Huh, dress blues, that's unusual," she said, more to herself than Dom. "I'll be back in a minute to give you a hand."

When she closed in on the table, the marine with her back to her sat up and saluted the other marine.

"Anytime. Now can we start celebrating, please?" she heard the male marine say just as she pulled up in front of the broken glass.

She felt awkward when he turned to look at her, "Sorry to interrupt, I'm just going to clear this up, then I'll be out your way."

"Oh yeah, sorry about that, we would have got around to cleaning it up," he said, with an American twang. "It was totally her fault though," he nodded at the female marine.

"Yeah sorry about that," the female marine said to her sheepishly.

"Not to worry, it'll just take a minute," the bartender said, crouching down she frowned and mumbled to herself, "ugh, this one really shattered."

"Damn, I'm really sorry," the female marine said behind her "let me help you."

"No really it's-_oomph_" something dug into the bartender's back, knocking her forward. She put her free hand down to catch herself, straight on top of the broken glass, she winced as it pierced her palm and braced herself for the imminent faceplant. But it never came. Opening her eyes she saw the glass covered carpet, inches below her, but she wasn't falling, she was suspended in mid-air. "What th-" she stopped as an arm wrapped around her waist, just as gravity kicked back in.

"I got ya," she heard the female marine whisper in her ear as she was pulled to her feet. The arm loosened from around her waist and the bartender turned to face the marine but stumbled forward. Her hand landed on the marine's chest and a sharp pain shot through her palm down to her wrist, she realised she must still have glass in her hand, and had just pushed it in deeper.

_"__Ouwww!_ Bollocks! Shit! Crap!" the bartender cursed cradling her hand.

"Oh my God, your hand!" The marine said wrapping her hand tightly around her skinny wrist. "Here, sit down, where's the first aid kit?"

"Errr, be-behind the bar; ask Dom." the bartender said waving her other hand in the direction of her boss, quite distracted by the pain.

"Jeff, go ask him for the first aid kit." the female marine said to her friend, an urgent tone in her voice.

"On it, Lia," the male marine, Jeff, said heading towards the bar.

The bartender suddenly realised how much blood was seeping from the wound on her wrist, despite the female marine, Lia, gripping her wrist tightly.

"Here, wrap your hand around your wrist tight, focus pressure on this spot particularly," Lia said placing the bartender's other hand just above the wound.

"Tight," the bartender nodded.

Lia undid one of her boots and proceeded to take off her sock, then moved the bartender's hand out the way and tied the sock in place. She winced at how tight the marine pulled it, but the blood flow did lessen considerably. "A sock?" the bartender said a little amused as she noted the Alliance emblem printed onto the sock.

"Tourniquet, I think you nicked the Ulnar artery which is why it's bleeding quite a lot."

"Well, that explains the pain. Are you a doctor?"

Lia chuckled, "No, but nonmedical marines get emergency first aid training."

The bartender smiled and looked at the female marine, "Oh, well lucky for me you were here tonight." It was the first time she'd properly looked at the marine: long copper hair, tied back in a ponytail, piercing emerald green eyes, she was beautiful, and very familiar. "Do we-"

"Well, technically if she hadn't been here, there wouldn't have been a broken glass and she wouldn't have sent you flying on top of it." The bartender turned to look at Jeff who was now stood behind them, smirking at her. "So really, it's unlucky for you she was here," he finished, holding out the first aid kit to Lia.

"You're an ass." Lia said glaring at him.

"But I'm an ass that has a point," he said taking a seat back on the bench.

"Dick...did you ask him to call an ambulance?" Lia said nodding towards the bar while emptying the contents of the box on the table.

The bartender had been so entertained by their banter, she had almost forgotten why they were there. "What? Ambulance? Don't you think that's a bit dramatic?"

"You did hear me say you might have nicked an artery right?" Lia said in a serious tone.

"Well yes, but this seems to have stopped the bleeding." the bartender said waving her good hand at the sock, then realised what a ridiculous statement it was.

Lia raised an eyebrow, "So you plan to walk around with glass in your hand and my sock around your wrist for the rest of your life?" her mouth twitched at the corners.

"Well, no obviously not," the bartender said, feeling her cheeks begin to glow, "I just meant, I can take a taxi to the hospital."

"Well, that's the best option anyway," Jeff interrupted, "it's Friday night, she's likely to bleed to death from a paper cut waiting for an ambulance."

The bartender nodded emphatically, "See," she said to Lia.

"Your boss went up and got your bag for you," Jeff pointed at her bag that was on the bench next to him, she hadn't even seen it until now. "He said to get yourself sorted and not worry about the bar."

"Oh, thank you," she said and smiled at Jeff.

"Right, I'm gonna put a proper compress on this, I need you to hold your wrist tight again." Lia said, positioning the bartender's good hand back in place on her wrist.

"Tight, got i-argh-t, that stings." the bartender gasped when Lia loosened the sock tourniquet, the blood began to flow again and the bartender tightened her hand around her wrist, feeling a little satisfied when the flow lessened slightly.

Lia placed gauze either side of the glass that stuck out of her wrist, then skillfully wrapped a bandage around it, somehow managing to avoid putting any pressure directly on the glass, and finished by tying it into a tourniquet in exactly the right spot, stopping the flowing blood in it's tracks. The bartender watched her work, quite mesmerized, almost forgetting it was her own arm being seen to.

"Jeez Lia, you're such a nerd. You can totally tell your mum's a Doctor."

Lia laughed "You know Karin would never have let me get away with being anything but top of the class in emergency first aid."

"Oh hell no, honestly I'm surprised she didn't have you teaching the class."

"Your mum's a doctor?" the bartender asked.

"Yup." Lia said smiling at the bartender. "Right, time to call a cab," she said as she pulled on her boot.

* * *

><p>Lia gritted her teeth as she swiped her credit chit across the cab's meter: 500 credits, she was sure he had taken the longest route possible. She slammed the door shut and walked to the other side of the cab to help the bartender out.<p>

"Asshole." Lia looked over at Jeff who was shaking his head, "You know he went the longest route on purpose," he said with a frown.

"I know, and so does my bank manager now," she replied rolling her eyes.

"I'll pay you back," a voice behind her said earnestly.

Lia shook her head and turned to look at the bartender, "You absolutely will not, it's my fault you're here at all. Now let's get you inside," she said pointing to the Emergency Department entrance.

The three of them entered and the bartender walked up to the reception desk. Without taking her eyes off her monitor, the receptionist said in a bored tone, "Name."

It was that moment Lia realised she actually didn't know the bartender's name.

_You've spent the last hour with a cute girl and didn't once think to ask her name? You're losing your touch..._

_If you hadn't noticed I was busy making sure she didn't bleed to death!_

_Losing. Your. Touch._

Before she could catch the bartender's name, she heard a groan behind her, she turned to look at her best friend and realised just how shattered he looked. "Come on, let's grab a seat," she said, nodding towards the uncomfy looking waiting room chairs.

"I'm not gonna say no," Jeff said, sounding more exhausted than he looked.

"Damn Chip, you're beat, I'm gonna com Anderson and ask him to pick you up."

"Like hell you are, I'm not a baby." he said frowning.

"No, but you've had, what? at most four hours sleep in the last twenty four hours? You don't need to be here, you might as well go back to Karin's and sleep."

"And what about you? When was the last time you slept? I'm pretty sure it was a lot longer than twenty four hours ago…" he countered defiantly.

"Jeff, don't be a dumbass, let me call him." She generally just left him to his own devices, he knew his limits and didn't often push them, but tonight he was just being stupid.

"If you're gonna get rid of me, at least be honest about why," Jeff said raising an eyebrow in the direction of the bartender, "you just want to get me out the way so you can score."

Lia laughed, "You know me too well, I'm losing my touch though, can you believe I haven't even ask her name?"

"Yeah, I noticed you were all lost in playing super-marine to actually bother taking advantage of the benefits that came with it, eg the swooning girl in front of you."

"She was swooning?" Lia said hopefully.

He sighed heavily, "And I'm the dumbass? Call Anderson, I'll get out of your way. I'll take sleep over playing third wheel any day."

Lia grinned already pulling up the contacts list on her omni-tool and clicking Anderson's com.

_"Amelia?"_ a drowsy voice said on the other end of the com.

"Hey Anderson, I'm really sorry to call so late." she said in an apologetic tone.

_"Is something wrong?"_he replied urgently, suddenly a lot more awake.

"No, no, nothing's wrong. We're both fine, but Jeff and I are at Vancouver General Hospital Emergency Department with a bartender we met tonight. It's a long story, but because of me she cut her wrist pretty bad so we came with her. The thing is Jeff is wiped out and the last cab we used took the longest most expensive route here possible. I'm sorry to drag you out, but would you mind picking him up?"

There was a chuckle on the other end of the line, _"Yeah, Vancouver cab drivers have a tendency to take advantage of the peak rates. No worries, I'll be there soon as I can."_

"Thanks Anderson, you're a lifesaver!"

_"I take it you're not coming with?_

"No. It's my fault she's here in the first place, I don't want to leave her on her own." Lia replied in a serious tone.

_"Ok, I understand. Call me when you're done and I'll pick you two up as well."_

"What? No, I couldn't ask you to come out twice."

_"That was an order, not an offer Second Lieutenant."_ Anderson said in a commanding tone.

"Ugh, you can't pull that commanding office shit all the time you know, but _fine_!" Lia heard a chuckle behind her and turned to see a huge smirk on Jeff's face, covering the com mic she said "and you can shut it too!"

_"I'll com him when I'm there, should be about fifteen minutes."_ Lia could hear the smirk in Anderson's voice and rolled her eyes.

"Will do," she said in annoyance, and then softened her tone, "Thanks David."

When she turned back to Jeff she saw the bartender had joined them and they were sat chatting. "Hey, she looked like fun," Lia said glancing in the direction of the receptionist.

"Oh yes, she was a barrel of laughs," the bartender said with mock enthusiasm.

Lia smiled and sat down on the other side of the bartender, "How's the wrist feeling?"

"It's throbbing like hell, but the nurse who did my initial assessment gave me painkillers and said due to the position of the glass and the fact that, as you said, it might have nicked the artery, I should be seen pretty soon," the bartender said with a smile.

"So they agree you might have nicked an artery, but you'll only be seen 'pretty soon'?" Lia said incredulously.

"She said ordinarily I'd have been seen immediately, but they're short staffed tonight and have just had an 'immediate resuscitation' category patient be rushed in." The bartender pointed at the compress Lia had applied, "She was seriously impressed with your artwork though. She said even she couldn't have done better."

Lia grinned, "I wasn't top of the class for no reason."

"God you must have been obnoxious to teach emergency first aid to," Jeff said over the bartenders shoulder.

Lia smirked "Yup, for the last four days of the course the trainer had me doing the demonstrations because I was so much better at it than her."

Jeff laughed, "How did you leave the Academy with any friends?"

Lia cringed internally, _I didn't_. Jen was the social one, the people they went out with were never really her friends, she was the plus one, and never really made any attempt to change that. Realising an awkward silence had fallen between the three of them, Lia drew herself from her quite depressing thoughts and back into the waiting room, "I have no idea."

She briefly made eye contact with Jeff, and saw a silent _"Sorry."_

She gave him a subtle nod to let him know it was ok, then laughed, "Anyway, you're one to talk, what is it they've nicknamed you?" she said raising her eyebrows.

He glared at her and grumbled under his breath "Joker."

"Joker? Why Joker?" the bartender suddenly piped up.

"Yeah Chip, why Joker?" revenge was sweet.

He sighed in annoyance then gave in, "My asshole flight instructor nicknamed me Joker because she said I rarely smile. Apparently I take life too seriously."

"Yeah, but you'll be the one smiling when you fly circles around every single one of them in your final exams," Lia hadn't realised until now, just how raw that nerve was for him, "Which is the only reason that asshole has given you that nickname, because she knows you're a better pilot than she could ever be."

A huge smile spread across Jeff's face, "Damn right I am."

Lia realised she'd been so wrapped up in her own problems, she hadn't seen what was going on with her best friend. It had only been four months since he'd lost his mom, and he hadn't even really had time to mourn, because she went and crashed his mourning time by almost dying herself, and all the mess that came after that. She'd been a shitty best friend recently, _that has to change_.

Just then Jeff's com beeped, "Well, that's my ride, it was nice to meet you."

"Oh, you're leaving?"

"Yeah, three's a crowd so I'll leave you in Lia's very skillful hands, don't do anything I wouldn't," he said winking at the bartender.

Thanks Chip, real subtle.

_Not subtle, but helpful; she's blushing, there may be hope!_

"See you in the morning Chip." Lia turned to the bartender, "So, I've realised we haven't actually introduced ourselves, which considering we've spent over an hour together and you're wearing my sock, is quite unprecedented for me." she flashed her most charming smile at the bartender.

The bartender blushed even deeper, but smiled back and held out her good hand, "Samantha Traynor, but you may call me Sam."

**To Be Continued...**

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><p><strong>AN**

Hello strangers!

How have you all been? It's been far, far too long I know, and I thought making you waiting 4 months for chapter 8 was bad! Can you believe it's been almost a year? I could spout a load of excuses, but instead I'm going to just say sorry and that I hope you think it's worth it. If it's any consolation I can promise there won't be a long wait on chapter 10, as it's all but finished. I got a bit carried away with chapter 9, and my beta reader pointed out that maybe 24 pages for one chapter was a bit much! So I promise I'll post the next chapter this time next month, and I personally feel that the best is yet to come. Why a month you ask? Well, I have to make you wait a little for it!

So regarding the chapter, what do you think? Did you figure out who it was before you reached the last sentence? What are your hopes for the next chapter?

I look forward to hearing from you all again!

***Edit* So I've decided that a month for chapter 10 is too long to wait even for me, so...if I hear back from 5 of you wonderful readers in the comments section, I'll release it early! Get commenting guys **


	10. Chapter 10 - Puzzle Pieces

**Puzzle Pieces**

Lia took the bartender's hand, and felt a warm glow in her chest, this young woman was intriguing. She was beautiful, but with an endearingly dorky edge to her. Smooth caramel coloured skin, jet black hair and big brown eyes one could get lost in. Lia realised she was taking a little too long to reply. Dipping her head she said, "Please to meet you Samantha. Amelia Shepard at your service, but please call me Lia." When there was nothing but silence in return, Lia lifted her head to look at Sam. She frowned when she saw the look that was now on Sam's face.

"I _knew it! _I knew I recognised your face. You're _her_."

Lia pulled her hand away and averted her eyes to study the waiting room floor which was impressively clean, "I didn't realise my fame had spread all the way to England."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, that was really insensitive. I just…I'm not from England, my parents are, but I'm a colony kid, I was born and raised on Horizon."

Lia looked back at Sam, and was surprised to not see pity on her face. It was nearly always pity, even Jen had pitied her when she realised who she was. But if it wasn't pity, what was that look? Fascination?

As if reading her mind, Sam said "I remember when I was twelve, sitting in the living room with my parents, moaning because they wouldn't let me go meet my friends like I usually did on a Saturday afternoon. They said we had to watch the Mindoir funeral service on the vid-screen, because it could just have easily been our colony, and we must show our respects and never forget.

I was being a typical bratty thirteen year old, bored and huffy, then the camera focused in on a girl. She was older than me, but only by about two or three years. She was sandwiched between two alliance soldiers, each holding one of her hands. Even at the self absorbed age of thirteen, I could see the sadness in her emerald green eyes. Mum told me she was the only survivor and that she'd lived through a hell no one should ever have to live through. Then she said '_I bet she get's lost in the system; poor kid doesn't stand a chance.'_" Sam locked eyes with Lia. "How wrong she was…"

Lia frowned a little, "I don't even remember that day, I guess I've blocked it out."

Sam nodded then continued, "The following year I willingly watched the remembrance ceremony, looking for that girl as the camera panned slowly across the huge gathering. There she was, still between two alliance soldiers, but barely recognisable from the girl I'd seen the year before. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she was beautiful, standing tall, head held high, but, although it was hidden better than the previous year, the sadness was still there behind those bewitching eyes."

Lia hesitated, she couldn't explain it, but she had the urge to open up to this woman she barely knew. She hadn't even been able to do that with her girlfriend, what was it about this bartender that made her feel...safe?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm pretty sure if they had a degree in putting your foot in your mouth, I'd get a first," Sam said visibly squirming.

Lia laughed, "No, it's ok. It's...actually refreshing to have a reaction other than awkward silence and a swift change of subject."

"I can't even begin to imagine what you must have been through. Or how you managed to come through it and become the amazing woman you are today."

Lia held back a blush and gave a melancholy smile. "I was gifted with another amazing family, who dragged me through it, at times kicking and screaming, but they never gave up on me. The soldiers holding my hands became my legal guardians; they were actually the ones that found me on Mindoir. Karin was the first face I saw, my guardian angel that pulled me out of the darkness that was trying to consume me."

Lia paused a moment, studying Sam's face, still no pity: concern, and maybe fascination but not pity. "She's like a mum to me, she's my rock. She carried me through the worst of it, still does at times. Anderson, David, he's a father figure, but more in a supportive military dad kinda way. Together they kept me on the right path, made sure I didn't bottle up the anger and hatred I developed after the Mindoir attack. It would have been so easy to have let it poison my soul, to use the Alliance as a tool to one day take revenge. They made sure I didn't become that person."

"Then I'm glad they found you. After all you must have been through, you deserved that at least."

Lia was still confused as to why she was telling this stranger things she'd told only a handful of people.

_Does it really matter why?_

_No, I suppose not._

"I miss my family everyday, there will always be a hole in my life where they were. I saw and did things during those four days that no adult, let alone child should be subjected to." Lia took a moment to see her family's faces. It's not that she ever forgot about them, but she had kept them behind the wall, to keep the sorrow from consuming her. But maybe she'd kept them hidden a little more than was healthy. _The fuck up with Jen was proof of that_.

A hand sliding on top of her own pulled Lia from her thoughts, she looked at Sam and they held each other's gaze. Although she knew the buzz of the hospital waiting room still carried on around them, Lia felt as if they had stepped outside of time, as if they were in their own little bubble. There was nothing but silence, but it wasn't awkward, this was a peaceful silence. What was it about this young woman in front of her? Her defences seemed to simply dissolve.

An ambulance siren outside broke the silence, making them both jump and then laugh. When they made eye contact again, Lia noticed Sam was grinning, her brown eyes glinting with mischief, "What?" she asked in a suspicious tone.

"You know, on the third remembrance ceremony, I searched for the girl again as the camera panned round, but I couldn't see her. For a second I thought she wasn't there, but when the camera zoomed in, I realised she _was_ there, but she was no longer a girl, she'd _become_ one of the Alliance soldiers. And damn did she look good in the uniform." Sam said, her grin widening as the blush returned to her cheeks, "She, still does."

"Oh my God, I was your first crush!" Lia exclaimed triumphantly.

"Shut up, I was young."

"So what's your excuse now?" Lia said with a cocky smirk.

Sam opened her mouth to reply, but a voice from the far side of the waiting room called, "Samantha Traynor."

"Oh, that's me," she said sounding a little disappointed, "I guess this is goodbye then."

"What? Why?" Lia said a little surprised.

"Well they're calling me through, you're off the hook now."

"Errm, I'm not going anywhere until you're completely sorted and ready to go home," then Lia hesitated, "Well, unless of course you don't want me here, obviously I don't want to-"

"Oh, no, I absolutely want you to stay, I just...didn't want to be a pain."

"Did I not say I am at your service?" Lia said picking up Sam's bag. With a bow she stretched her arm in the direction of the Doctor that had called Sam, "After you m'lady."

* * *

><p>From where she was leaning against the back wall of the cubicle, Lia had had a perfect view through the glass door of the doctor and nurse who were studying the data pad with what she guessed was Sam's scan results. That was until a moment ago when they exited stage right; with nothing more of interest in the corridor, she turned her attention to the sterile cubicle room. It hadn't dawned on her until they were directed into the room, that this was the first time she was back in a hospital since her post-Torfan spell in ICU.<p>

This room was smaller, maybe half the size, but the decor was almost identical, minus the panoramic view of course. She didn't remember much of her stay in ICU, she spent most of it sedated, but the short periods she was lucid she spent studying that view. In all honesty the view seemed a little wasted on ICU patients, seen as if you were in ICU you usually weren't in much of a condition to appreciate a view.

She glanced over at Sam who was busy twirling the end of her bandage around her finger over and over. The bartender had seemed uncomfortable from the moment they had come through from the waiting room. _Does she have a problem with hospitals?_

The hiss of the glass door sliding open startled Lia, she looked up to see the nurse from the corridor enter carrying the data pad. He crossed the room and stood at the bedside, he had kind eyes and gave Sam and genuine smile.

"How are you feeling Miss Traynor? Have the painkillers helped at all?"

Sam nodded and gave him a weak smile "A little, thank you."

"That's good. Well the scan shows that the glass isn't touching the artery, and as the blood flow stopped from pressure alone, the ER doctor has said you won't need full surgery to have it removed. But she did say she'd prefer to let a surgeon do the procedure; with the artery having a slight puncture, it will also need repairing, which is a job better suited to a surgeon."

"But I'll be able to leave when the surgeon has finished patching me up won't I? I don't have to stay in overnight?" Sam said almost pleading.

"Well it would be up to the surgeon to determine once he has repaired you, but I can't imagine you'll need to stay in. You were lucky, a few inches further and it would have been a lot worse."

Sam nodded "How long do you think I'll have to wait?"

"The surgeon is currently in surgery, assuming there are no complications, she should be done in about an hour. You can rest in here until she comes."

"Excuse me," Lia interrupted awkwardly, "is it ok for me to stay?"

"If that is what Miss Traynor wants, then that's not a problem." the nurse said, looking to Sam. The bartender nodded enthusiastically in silent reply. "Ok, well I'll make sure to let you know if there are any delays. Until then, just take it easy."

"Thank you nurse," Sam said quietly. Lia was puzzled, it was as if the person she was sat talking to in the waiting room and the person laying on the hospital bed in front of her were two completely different people. Sam clearly had issues with hospitals, so Lia was determined to distract her from them and find her bartender again.

Once the nurse had left, Lia grabbed the chair at the far side of the room, dragged it over to the bed facing it towards Sam and flopped down into it. "Well, it seems we have plenty of time to get to know each other," she said flashing a smile at Sam.

Sam looked a little hesitant, so Lia continued, "you _do_ owe me. Considering you know some of my deepest, darkests, I think it's only fair that you return the favour."

Then that adorable smile was back, the bartender shrugged her shoulders, "There's not really anything to tell, I'm pretty boring."

Lia crossed her arms, "Well why don't you tell me anyway, and I'll determine how boring you are."

Sam sighed, "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. As I told you earlier, my parents are from London, but chose colony life shortly after getting married, therefore I was born and raised on Horizon."

Lia waited for her to continue, and when she didn't, she prompted, "Ok, so how did you end up on Earth?"

"I got lucky, the Alliance picked up on my aptitude scores and offered me a full scholarship; there's no way we would have been able to afford it otherwise."

"You know if you got the scores it wasn't luck, it was earnt. So what University are you at? British Columbia?"

"Oh, no. I'm at Oxford in England."

"Oxford University? Damn that's no small feat, that must have been some aptitude score. So, what brings you to Vancouver?"

"Well I'm currently interning for 3 months in the communications sector of Alliance Research and Development."

Lia raised her eyebrows, "Well hello brainiac. What exactly are you studying?"

"Errm," the bartender shuffled awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck, "Quantum Physics and Communications."

"Ohhh _damn_. You really _are_ a brainiac. You realise you just dropped a whole ten levels in coolness with that admission," Lia teased, spotting the blush on the bartender's cheeks. "but you've climbed twenty levels in braininess."

"Geee thanks…" Sam said rolling her eyes and pouted.

It was nice to see the girl from the waiting room back. Lia was curious as to the cause of her issue with hospitals, but that was a conversation for another time. _Assuming there is another time._ "I'm just kidding, us marines couldn't do our jobs without you guys having our backs. So, what do you do for fun?"

"For fun?"

"Yeah fun. You know, something you do in your downtime when you aren't at school or work or studying. Please tell me you let yourself have downtime."

"Oh, well yes of course." Sam rubbed the back of her neck again, and frowned at the bed. "You just have to keep on asking don't you!"

Lia cocked her head to the side conveying her confusion, "Well this is getting to know you time, what's wrong with asking what you do for fun?"

"Because I've already dropped ten levels in coolness," Sam grumbled, her frown deepening.

Lia chuckled, "Ok, now you _have_ to tell me. I won't laugh..."

The bartender sighed in defeat, "I like to play chess. Vancouver R&D have a chess club, we meet up twice a week and have mini tournaments."

Lia bite her lip desperately trying to hold the laughter in, but it was no good "Of course you do."

"Ugh! I _knew _you'd laugh," the bartender said glaring at Lia.

"Hey don't be angry, I think it's cute. Is it just chess you play?" Lia asked in a tone to let the bartender know she was truly interested in this adorable dork.

Sam maintained her silent frown for a few more moments then gave in, "Well, the Chess Master's wife-"

"Chess Master? What the hell is a Chess Master?" Lia asked, eyebrow raised.

Sam sighed and gave Lia a disapproving look, "We have ranks in the club, Chess Master is the club leader's rank. But as I was saying, the Chess Master's wife is an asari, and she has just introduced me to a game called Kepesh-Yakshi. You've probably never heard of it," this appeared to be more of a statement than a question, but Lia still gave her reply with a shake of her head.

"I hadn't either until I met her, it's a holo game, there's a homeworld and each player has a fleet and to win you have to destroy the other's fleet. It's also possible to win by capturing the other player's planet, but apparently that's a much harder strategy."

Sam paused and looked up at Lia, probably to check she was still following. Lia smiled and nodded, conveying interest and Sam continued. "One of the coolest things about this game is that to deter people from regularly kamikazeing their ships for an easy win, the game gives you a neural feedback shock every time you sacrifice one of your own ships! Oh and the losing player gets a shock strong enough to knock them off their chair!"

Lia smiled as she listened, this wasn't the most interesting topic she'd ever discussed, but the excitement and passion on Sam's face, made it endurable. "Sounds like a painful game to learn to play," she said with a chuckle.

"Oh well of course you can regulate the intensity of the shocks to allow for practice."

"Well I should hope so. I hate the thought of you coming back singed after a night's practice."

The enthusiasm on Sam's face vanished and the frown was back, "Why are you frowning now?" Lia asked, once again confused.

"So how many levels of coolness have I dropped now?" the bartender replied in a sulky tone.

Lia laughed again, then brought her hand up to her chin, demonstrating a thinking pose, "Hmmm, well it would usually be twenty levels-"

"_Twenty levels?"_ Sam exclaimed in dismay.

"Ah-ah, you didn't let me finish." Lia countered, "But you get plus five for enthusiasm, another plus five for educating me on a game I'd never heard of and another plus five for being so damn cute when doing so."

Sam blushed again, "So only minus five?"

"Well I'm not quite done, I have an admission to make first that will gain you another ten points." Lia put on a very serious face, "Since I met Jeff, we've spent every Christmas at his family's cabin," Lia paused and was pleased to see that Sam was suitably confused with the relevance, "every Christmas eve, after the oldies go to bed, me and Jeff break out an old chess set, and in more recent years, a bottle of brandy to go with it."

Sam gasped, "And you dare mock _me._"

Lia ducked as a pillow came hurtling towards her, "Yeah, but we drink a shot with every piece lost, so we make chess coo-_oof-_l" she hadn't seen the second pillow in time and got a face full. "Jeez I submit, you win! You are the superior battlemaster."

"Fine, I'll let you surrender, but only if you give my pillows back," Sam said with a smile. After Lia had helped her get comfy again Sam announced, "Right, my turn at question time again," she paused a moment, possibly to check for objection, so Lia nodded for her to continue. "Earlier in the pub, you stopped me from getting a face full of glass, without touching me…you used your biotics to catch me?

Lia grinned and held her hand up, it began to emit a blue glow, slowly she moved her fingers as if they were a rippling wave, and a small ball of blue energy began to take form in the palm of her hand. The static building in the air between them made the bartender's hair fly around as if someone had rubbed a balloon on her head.

"Wow...I've never actually seen biotics in action before, that's incredible." Sam said, not taking her eyes off Lia's hand.

Lia smiled, watching the bartender's face, who was mesmerized by her simple demonstration. Lia closed her hand into a fist and the glow dissipated.

"Does it hurt?"

"It tingles. You've heard of biotic exhaustion? Well, the longer you use your biotics, the stronger the tingle gets. Eventually it becomes like...you know when you've been sitting on your foot and it falls asleep and you get that crazy stabbing pins and needles when you try to wake it up? Well, that's kinda what biotic exhaustion feels like, but in your entire body. So, we train to know our limits and slowly increase them."

"What's your specialisation?"

"Sentinel. After the attack I was certain I wanted to be Vanguard class, but then I when I started the academy and had the technician taster class, I knew Sentinel was the way forward, the gadgets were just too cool to pass up."

Sam nodded enthusiastically, "Oh yes, if I was a frontline type of girl, I'd definitely go for technician, so many cool gadgets. So how were you exposed?"

"Mindoir's refinery exploded when I was fourteen. I was always too curious for my own good, I couldn't help but go and explore the site, which lead to intense exposure to the Element Zero in the air."

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment, "Why you were on Mindoir during the attack? You should have been at BAaT." Sam said, seemingly thinking out loud more than asking a question. She looked up at Lia, "Oh I'm sorry that was really insensitive…again. I was just, sorry."

Lia smiled, the bartender's blunders were actually quite endearing, "It's ok, I get what you were thinking. I didn't go to brain camp, I refused to embrace my biotics, because I didn't want to be shipped off to Jump Zero, much to my dad's dismay. He was a scientist at Conatix Industries, he was actually part of the team that developed the L3 implant, so you can imagine his excitement at his daugher developing biotic abilities and then his disappointment at her refusing to use them."

"Ouch, yeah I can see how that would dampen his spirits a bit."

"I definitely regretted not having embraced my abilities when the colony was attacked," Lia began to study the floor and tried to ignore the oppressing guilt building in her chest; that familiar survivor's guilt that she so often had when she reflected on the attack and considered what she might have been able to do if she'd had an implant.

Sam's hand slid into hers, it was warm and soft and drew Lia's eyes away from the floor to look at her again. "You realise if you had embraced your abilities, you would have been at brain camp during the attack. You wouldn't have been there to do anything to help anyway."

Lia was dumbfounded and stared out the tiny window at the night sky. She thought back to her conversation with Doctor Loca, rationally she'd always known that even if she'd embraced her abilities, she still wouldn't have been able to save the colony. But it had never occurred to her that if she had embraced them from the start, she wouldn't have even been there. She would have still lost her family, but she would have spent most of the previous two years away from them, two years worth of memories she would have missed out on.

_How has this never occurred to me before?!_

_Oh I dunno, maybe because you were too busy punishing yourself to see you really weren't to blame?_

"And yeah ok," the bartender's voice pulled Lia from her thoughts, "you wouldn't have been subjected to the horrors you went through, but you also probably wouldn't have the amazing family you have today."

She stared at the bartender stunned, she was right...again. It had been right in front of her for the last four years, yet it took a complete stranger to walk in and point it out for it to be revealed. If she'd been at BAaT she wouldn't have been there to be rescued. Karin, David, Sarah, Jeff...she would never have met them. She would have become another Alliance primed orphan, with nothing but the military as her focus.

She thought back to the academy, you couldn't miss the Alliance orphans, they stood out even more than she did. Their only focus was the military. They didn't form relationships of any kind, their idea of recreational activities were more training and studying. They were practically machines.

"Amelia?" Lia jumped when the crisp English voice said her name in a concerned tone. "Are you ok?"

"Sorry, I just..." she paused, still recovering from these revelations. "I don't know how, but neither of those two points have ever occurred to me before. I mean, when I thought about it rationally, I knew even if I had embraced my abilities, I wouldn't have been able to save the whole colony, but it had never dawned on me that I wouldn't have even been there. I would have missed out on so many memories, so many good times with my family. And I can't imagine my life without Karin, David or Jeff, I'd have just been another Alliance orphan."

The guilt that had formed in Lia's chest, began to dissolve as the realisation came over her, that she really couldn't have changed the outcome of that day. A warmth began to develop where the guilt had been; a gratefulness that she _had_ been there, that she had been on the colony with her loved ones. That she had been found by the people that became her new family.

Lia sat forward again and took the bartender's hand in hers, "Thank you Sam."

"I didn't really do much, but I'm glad it helped," Sam said with a tender smile.

They sat there for a while, the peaceful silence surrounding them again. Until Lia noticed a thoughtful look on Sam's face. "Go on, I can see there's something you want to say," Lia said with a raised eyebrow.

"Permission to ask another insensitive question?" Sam said with a pleading smile.

Lia laughed, "Hit me with it."

"If you didn't go to BAaT, does that mean you didn't have an implant?"

"Yes, I refused to have one, even when my dad promised I wouldn't be sent to brain camp. I didn't have an implant fitted until after the attack."

"Oh…" the bartender said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"It's just, as you no doubt know there's many a story of what happened to you…"

"Oh yes, I've heard most if not all, even made a few up myself," Lia smirked.

"Well, most of them report you using your biotics, there's even rumors of video footage of you kicking batarian ass. But if you didn't have an implant, you couldn't have, could you?"

Lia was a little taken aback, she knew the video footage existed, it was how Karin had convinced Hackett to recruit her. But to her knowledge there were very few people that knew it existed. "I...err...video footage? Where'd you hear that?"

Sam suddenly looked awkward, as if she'd realised she'd finally pushed too far. "R&D lab gossip."

"Hey it's ok, I just wasn't expecting that." Lia took a breath, she should have expected with all that had happened over the last few months, that she might become gossip worthy again. No details had been released to the public of what happened on Torfan, but it wasn't surprising to hear there were rumours buzzing within the Alliance again.

"There is footage. It's of me biotic charging an armed batarian and shooting him with his own gun. It was used to convince the Alliance Brass I was worth recruiting, I just didn't know anyone other than a few at the top knew about it. Without an implant I didn't have a great deal of power or control over my biotics, but the adrenaline seemed to help me get out of a few scrapes during those four days."

"A biotic charge without an implant? That's some adrenaline rush." the bartender said looking quite shocked.

"Yeah, well he'd just murdered my twin sisters and girlfriend in cold blood, there was a lot of emotions mixed in with that rush."

"Oh Lia…" Sam's face was etched with a mix of horror and sorrow, "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, it kinda sucked," Lia said shrugging her shoulders.

"_Kinda sucked?_ That has to be the biggest understatement ever made!" Sam said shaking her head. "So, while we're already stomping on the eggshells of your personal history, are you going to tell me why you almost got kicked out of the Alliance?"

"Jeez Sam, just keep pouring that salt on these open wounds." Lia managed to say through laughter.

"Well, better to rip the bandage off in one go that peel it back slow right?"

"You sure you want to use that analogy right now, when you're the one with the bandage?" Lia said grinning and nodding at her injured arm.

"You're too proud of your artwork to go ripping it off. Anyway don't change the subject, are you going to tell me or not?"

* * *

><p>"Apparently I pulled up my barrier before losing consciousness, which thankfully deflected the bullet Rosenberg got off, although I have no memory of doing so.<p>

"And the second shot?" Sam asked, riveted.

"It turned out the second shot was Anderson taking Rosenberg down. He only injured him though, shot him in the arm." Lia thought back to the seconds before she passed out and hearing the shots, "In all honesty I thought I was done, I was really surprised when I woke up a few hours later, once again in a hospital bed."

"Lia!" dismay spread across Sam's face, "You were really lucky Anderson got there when he did, that was really stupid going to see Rosenberg in his office without knowing for sure you had back up," Sam said in a disapproving tone.

Lia broke eye contact with Sam and began inspecting her fingernails. She knew Sam was right, she'd known it at the time as well, but part of her hadn't cared. "I know, but it was a risk I had to take, without it, my career and reputation was toast and I'd never have been able to get justice for those marines." Lia clenched her teeth and swallowed hard as she thought back to visiting Jen's grave, "I couldn't let Rosenberg walk away an innocent man. I made a promise to make him pay, I had to take him down...whatever the cost." Lia looked back at Sam, trying to get a read on her. A solemn look crossed Sam's face, and she nodded slowly as she acknowledged the meaning behind her words.

"Anyway," Lia said, steering them back to the story, "Rosenberg's lawyer filed an objection of admissibility of evidence: the recording, on grounds of entrapment. Thankfully I had Thomas Devon as my lawyer; he's the most infamous, intimidating defence lawyer in Canada, and he put a stop to that."

"You were lucky you had such a good lawyer, if the objection had been successful, that would have sunk your whole case."

"Luck had nothing to do with it. Karin refinanced her apartment to pay his fees." Lia said scowling at the floor as if it was somehow to blame. "I'll pay her back one day."

"That's what parents do," Lia saw in the corner of her eye Sam ducking her head forward, trying to bring her attention back, "and biological or not, she sure as hell sounds like your mum to me."

Lia looked up and smiled, "She is."

"So, what was the outcome of the hearing?"

Lia rolled her eyes, "Well, it seems, the outcome of high profile cases are predominantly decided according to politics not justice. Find the outcome that reflects best on the Alliance and let the PR team work out the best way to present it to the public. Torfan cost over one hundred and fifty marines their lives, so they needed to give the people someone to blame for it. Their choices were me: a Second-Lieutenant barely out of the academy, or Rosenberg: a long standing, highly decorated General. I mean when you break it down like that, the most obvious patsy is me." Lia slouched lower in the big armchair.

"Which is why you took the risk to get the recording."

"Yeah, it was the only thing that was going to level the playing field for me. With a self admission of Rosenberg's objective being revenge with no care of the cost; he became a much primer target."

"Well I am very thankful of that." Sam smiled, but Lia didn't return it this time.

"Rosenberg has been charged and will of course be publicly named and shamed, so the masses have a person to hate, therefore diverting blame from the Alliance." Lia sighed, "And I've been cleared of all charges and will receive a Navy and Marine Corps Achievement medal at a live broadcasted remembrance service. So now they have their hero and villain."

"I don't understand," Sam cocked her head to the side looking puzzled, "you say it's all politics, but he _was_ the villain, you were simply his pawn."

Lia clenched her jaw tightly, "But I wasn't a hero. I should also be held accountable for my actions. I never intended to get away without blame, I just didn't want him to walk away innocent." The anger was building inside her again, "What I did was still wrong. I should have told him to go fuck himself." She realised she had raised her voice, and took a few deep breaths to calm herself before continuing. "Instead I was selfish and put my career over the lives of others, and as a result one hundred and fifty two marines died."

"But you weren't to know the intel was bad. Remember, I'm interning in communications, and unfortunately it's not uncommon for intel to be inaccurate. It no doubt was accurate when it was sent, but they probably had a load more slavers descend on the base shortly after. You can't blame yourself for that."

Lia could see Sam's sincerity, but what she, and everyone else who kept saying that didn't understand, was that the bad intel wasn't really to blame. Before Lia could reply Sam continued, "You're clearly an excellent soldier and a great leader, otherwise the mission would have been a total failure. You're alive, and so are forty seven other marines." Sam paused for a moment, clearly contemplating her next words, "I'm so sorry about Jen. As if you hadn't already had enough heartache for one lifetime."

"Errm, thank you." Lia hadn't expected the condolences for her loss, and took a moment to collect herself, "Everyone that supports me keeps saying the same thing '_the intel was bad, it wasn't your fault.'_ But we had realised the intel was bad before we went in, we could have withdrawn and the slavers would have been none the wiser. Our senior officer ordered a retreat, and on Rosenberg's orders I relieved him of duty," Lia admitted, staring into space.

_A distant voice caught her attention and when she looked up she was on Torfan, watching, listening in disgust to herself give the orders that would ultimately lead to the deaths of over three quarters of their battalion. The sound of a gunshot behind her drew Lia's attention: she stared at the woman in front of her, her mirror image, and watched as she executed her prisoners, one by one. She hadn't seen them at the time, she couldn't, but now Lia saw each terrified face looking up at her, silently pleading for their lives._

A warm hand on her cheek pulled her back to the hospital room, Sam's face was closer than before. Lia felt the sting in her eyes and fought back the tears before the first could fall. She swallowed hard, "It wasn't just the marines, Sam. Even if we'd all got out alive, I murdered people, and ordered other marines to murder people."

"They were slavers, murderers themselves, it's not like you killed women and children." Sam said reassuringly, while stroking her cheek with her thumb.

Lia wanted to accept the reassurance, but she didn't deserve it. She stood up and paced the cubicle, "I'm a marine Sam, not judge and jury. They had surrendered, they were on their knees, unarmed. Whatever their crimes were, it's still cold blooded murder." Lia screwed her hands into tight fists, "Rosenberg chose me as his puppet because of Mindoir, he figured I'd be happy to do it. I wasn't, but...it enabled me to go through with it. I was a coward, instead of seeing the face of each person I executed, I visualized the face of the batarian that murdered my sisters and girlfriend. The only person I've ever truly wanted to kill." Lia stood still and hung her head. She didn't dare look at the bartender, she'd never admitted that to anyone before, not to Jeff, or Karin, not even to herself. She was too ashamed, she couldn't bare to see the way they would look at her once they knew. How she'd look at herself once those words were spoken.

"Lia," a gentle voice behind her said, "please look at me."

Lia shook her head "I've never told anyone that before...I have to go," she said heading quickly towards the door."

"Amelia, wait" the bartender pleaded, and Lia slowed "don't leave." She heard a rustling behind her followed by a loud "_Owww". _Spinning on her heels she saw Sam standing next to the bed cradling her wrist.

Lia rushed over to her and carefully inspected her arm. "Be careful, you could puncture the artery again," she said in a concerned tone. After inspecting the wound to be sure no further damage had been done, Lia said, "you don't appear to have done any more damage, but be careful." She frowned and looked at Sam, who was looking right back at her, their faces were inches away from each other. Sam raised her hand cupping Lia's cheek. Closing her eyes Lia leaned into the gentle touch, when she felt warm lips press against hers, she hesitated a second, then kissed the bartender. After a moment she pulled away.

"I'm sorry Sam, I...I can't."

As she moved back, Sam grabbed hold of her hand, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so presumptuous, please don't leave. Can we just forget that happened?"

Lia looked at Sam "I don't want to forget. I like you Sam," she paused for a moment, not taking her eyes off the bartender, "there are only two people in the world I speak to as openly as I have to you. And tonight I've told you more than I've even dared to tell them."

Sam's face broke out into that beautiful and slightly dorky smile. Lia felt a flutter in her chest, "I'm serious, I can't explain it, but you make me feel comfortable, safe to be myself rather than the mask the rest of the world sees." Lia then frowned, "But...Jen, it's just too soon, and with everything that's about to happen."

Sam smiled again, but this time there was a little sadness behind those deep brown eyes, "You don't have to explain Lia, I get it, I really do."

Lia threw her arms in the air, "No you don't, because I'm not explaining it very well." she began pacing again and rubbed the back of her neck as she tried to explain, "My Uncle was also an Alliance marine, he was killed five years ago yesterday. I adored him, we were really close. When I was twelve, him and his girlfriend of eight years split up. They'd always seemed the perfect couple, so we were all pretty surprised. I asked him why? What happened?"

Sam looked a little lost as to where this was going, but she went with it, "What did he say?"

"He said people are like puzzle pieces. We each start off with our own unique shape. There are a lot of people that you don't fit together with. There are some that don't fit perfectly, but you can still slot together, and if you don't look too closely, you can barely notice that you're not a perfect fit. Then there are a few people that just fit, without trying, from the moment you meet." Lia paused to see if Sam was following, seeing she didn't look too confused Lia continued, "As we make our way through life, our experiences constantly reshape us, like sea and sand do to pebbles. The couples that fit together from the start, stand a good chance of changing shape together. Some of the couples that didn't fit perfectly to start with, end up fitting perfectly, but for some, it just becomes more obvious that they don't fit, until eventually they can't ignore it anymore."

Lia looked at Sam and rubbed her forehead "Did I just completely confuse you? I think he described it better than me, but in my defence I was only twelve." Lia could practically see the cogs turning in Sam's head, and she was feeling more and more like she'd said too much.

"Are you saying we're a perfect fit?" Sam finally asked, a subtle smile crossing her lips.

"I guess I am. It's the only way I can explain it. But…"

Sam carefully climbed back onto the bed, then looked at Lia again, "Right puzzle pieces, wrong time?"

"Yes. That." Lia said slumping back down into the chair, she rested her hand on top of Sam's and they sat in that peaceful silence again.

It was Sam who eventually broke the silence, "What did you mean when you said 'with everything that's about to happen.' What's about to happen?"

Lia sighed deeply "Well, on top of being awarded a medal I don't deserve, I'm also being recommendation for the Interplanetary Combatives Training program."

"N-School? Oh wow, that's a whole new level of elite training."

"Yup, the best training, the best gear, black ops missions, completely off the grid, and absolutely no say in whether or not I accept it."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Weren't you listening?" Lia said getting frustrated, "It's politics, I haven't earnt it. The marines that gave their lives, what do they get? A Purple Heart, I'm sure that's a real comfort to their loved ones."

"Look, I understand you have this whole self loathing thing going on, and no, Torfan was not your finest hour, but you are not like Rosenberg. He had no remorse, he got satisfaction knowing those unarmed slavers were executed, and didn't care that his revenge cost the lives of many good marines. Amelia Shepard is a good person. If you weren't you wouldn't be consumed by all this guilt and longing for some form of punishment." Sam paused, waiting for some sort of response, but Lia was too busy processing what she said. "From what I've heard, N-School is as tough as it gets, they send you to hell and back, and that's just for the N1 rank, I dread to think what you have to go through for the other 6 ranks. So how about you use this opportunity you've been given to honour the dead, all of them. Earn your repentance."

Lia stared at Sam in wonder, "I...hadn't looked at it like that."

"And in between your training and my studies we'll vidcom to keep each other updated." Lia looked up at Sam in surprise, she was often cheeky, but not usually so bold.

"Oh will we now?" she said smirking at the bartender who had since gone a bright shade of scarlet.

"Well, only if I have time," Sam said in an attempt to act nonchalant .

Lia chuckled, "Oh but of course."

* * *

><p>As she glided up the Observatory's steps The First admired the building's exterior. What had started out as a modest building in which to plan and observe Project Prime, had become the grandest structure on Atheralia.<p>

The soaring columns towered above her, supporting the beautifully crafted arches that formed the Observatory's entrance. As she passed a column she brushed her ghostly fingers over it; despite having had both suns glaring down at the glimmering black stone all day, the plaenite was still cold under her fingertips. She watched as the stone went from being a solid silky smooth surface to rippling like water in response to her touch. She had seen many beautiful materials during her time curating the projects, but none came close to the elegance of plaenite.

When she reached the colossal door she turned to admire the magnificent view behind her. With both suns beginning to set, Talana was bathed in orange light from the east and pink from the west, merging into a warm peach across the centre of the metropolis. The oldest city in existence was also the most exquisite, but it had not always been so.

She thought back to their humble beginnings before the projects. Back then the eight of them had not considered it humble, but that was before they had learnt the importance of beauty in life. A smile graced her lips, they were the higher beings, yet they had learnt so much from observing the lesser beings in the projects. Their own appreciation of culture and art hadn't begun to develop until they became curious of the lesser beings' obsession with it. Every new generation of atheralians were more creative and passionate than the last. When they started the first project, she had never imagined how much the lesser beings would change their lives for the better. It was humbling.

The First turned to face the door and placed her hand on the plaque in the centre. The familiar rhythmic hum sounded and the gigantic plaenite door dissolved allowing her entry to The Observatory.

The Second had given her a summary of his shift at dinner, but as much as she loved her eternal, and respected his efficiency as her counterpart curator, he did not share the same level of interest as herself and the project observers. For him it was a job, one he took seriously, but not emotionally. The projects remained experiments and in the aeons the projects had been running he had never let himself get close enough to care for, or be inspired by the projects' inhabitants.

For this reason The First always started her shifts by visiting every project room, getting updates from the observers on significant evolutionary developments: the creation of a new species, a milestone reached for an existing species, and even the smaller more emotional things that might have touched an observer.

Two hours into her shift, she finally made her way down the lofty corridor that lead to her favourite project. Project Prime's door dissolved and The First saw The Third's first female offspring exit the room. "Good evening Three-One, how are you?"

"My First," the atheralian said bowing.

"No need for formalities in here, Three-One," The First smiled at the atheralian in front of her, who visibly relaxed.

"I would give you an update, but I might as well leave that to mother," the younger atheralian said with a frown. The First hid a smile at hearing the word _mother_. From the very start of the first project, The Second had been attached to all the inhabitants of Project Prime, although none inspired her as much as the humans. She had picked up so many mannerisms from them and this was, in no subtle way, passed on to her offspring.

Bringing her train of thought back on topic she asked "When did she last leave the room?"

Three-One shook her head, "I don't even know, she's been here every time I've come, although she claims to have been home."

The First nodded slowly, "Do not worry, Little Three, I will speak to her."

The younger atheralian laughed, "You haven't called me that in a long time, I'm far from the little now."

"You'll always be Little Three to me young one, I simply have enough respect for you to never say it around anyone else," The First said with a playful smile. "Now you go home to your family, and I will take care of your mother."

"Good luck My First, I fear you will need it." Three-One said and glided down the corridor towards the main hall.

The First turned to the massive door and placed her palm over the plaque, when the door dissipated she took a moment to admire the view. Project Prime's observation room was unquestionably the most impressive one in the whole building. By now the two moons on Atheralia where high in the sky and shining through the glass that formed the roof, projecting magnificent colours onto the walls of the massive room.

The supercluster the humans had taken to calling 'Laniakea' was spread throughout the room in it's different clusters. As usual the Milky Way was in the centre observation globe with The Third stood over it. As she got closer The First frowned, "For a being that does not need sleep, you are doing an excellent impression of looking exhausted." The First said masking her concern with a jovial tone.

The Third turned and gave her a weary smile, "I thought I'd suggest we have a theatre built and was working on my acting skills."

"You know Project Prime will continue to exist without you watching it all day everyday." The First said with a smile, but The Third did not return her smile this time.

"Will it? We've changed history, we don't know how that will affect the timeline, and seen as that is the only thing we are willing to do, if it goes wrong I want to at least be here to see it happen..." The Third hesitated a moment, "I owe them that at the very least."

"Owe them?" The First echoed The Third's words trying to decrypt what she had said.

Without her needing to ask more The Third said "If it wasn't for me he would have never created the Reapers."

Silence befell the room as it finally became clear to The First, _She feels responsible for this mess…_

The First moved closer and rested her hand upon The Third's "Oh my dear friend, this is not your fault. He is responsible for his own actions, not you."

The Third shook her head, "But he was _my_ eternal, his actions came from jealousy of my obsession with the humans."

"Jealousy is a very..._human_ emotion. There was a time you were both obsessed with Project Prime. We were not born rich with emotions, it is something we have gained over aeons of observing highly emotional beings. And as we see in the projects, some beings handle emotions better than others. The Sixth was not a child. He was perfectly aware of what he was doing, and even when he was put on trial, he still refused to undo the harm he had done."

"I still can't believe he went to such an extreme, it was the human's he was jealous of, he could have simply wiped them out. But instead he went right back to the beginning, sabotaging the entire timeline of Project Prime."

The First could hear confusion in The Third's voice. She had been so busy in her roles as leader and curator, that she had neglected her role as a friend. She had been blind to her friend's pain, but now she saw it so clearly etched on her face. The heartache, the betrayal, the guilt, all these emotions that they had not been born with but had found themselves developing over time.

"I know, I'm sorry dear friend." The First squeezed the other atheralian's hand, "but I believe you are right about her," The First nodded at the human in observation globe, "she is so different already, yet still strong and brave. I truly believe she will be the one to end the cycle."

The First looked at The Third and saw the pain slowly fade from her face and a small smile take it's place. "She will."

"Well, Little Three didn't give me an update as she said you could do that, so, update me, what's she been up to?"

The Third tapped the globe and zoomed in closer to the two humans, "this is it, this is the final relationship that will keep her on the right path, I'm sure of it."

Until that point, The First hadn't seen the face of the second human, "Wait, I know her. Is that Samantha Traynor?" she looked at The Third who nodded. "Well, I didn't see that coming," The First chuckled.

* * *

><p>"Well, this is me," the bartender said sounding quite disappointed, "thank you for walking me home."<p>

"Well, if I'm honest it was for quite selfish reasons. I got to spend more time with you." Lia said flashing her charming smile, making the bartender blush once more.

"You know it's ok, with everything you have coming up if you don't really want to keep in touch." Sam said focusing her eyes firmly on her feet.

Lia frowned, somewhat confused by this sudden insecurity. "You're kidding right? After all we've been through tonight, you really think I'm going to let you walk out my life?" The bartender kept her eyes on the floor, so Lia stepped closer and cupped the bartender's chin in her hand gently coaxing those big brown eyes to meet her own, "Sam, I meant everything I said in the hospital. It's bad timing, but you're my matching puzzle piece and I'm not going to let you go." Lia hesitated a moment, unless this was the bartender's way of saying she didn't really want to stay in touch. Insecurity began to set in and she dropped her hand to her side while taking a step back, "Unless of course you don't want to, I'd totally understand you not wanting to hang around for-"

"_No,_" the bartender said suddenly coming to life and grabbing Lia's hand, "I absolutely do, I just, I wasn't sure you were-"

Before the bartender could finish her sentence Lia stepped forward and cut her off with a kiss, a deep passionate kiss that had been longing to get out. The bartender didn't hesitate to kiss her back with just as much passion, and Lia pulled her close.

When their lips finally parted, Lia opened her eyes, finding those beautiful brown eyes meeting hers. Smiling she said "Be sure."

The sound of a sky car pulling up behind them broke their gaze and Lia turned to see Anderson in the car behind her. Turning back to Sam she sighed "That's my ride." Sam nodded sadly and Lia stroked her face, "I'll com you tomorrow ok?"

The bartender's eyes lite up again, "You'd better." she said wrapping her around the back and Lia's neck and pulling her in for another kiss.

Lia watched Sam as the sky car pulled away until she was out of sight. "Thanks for picking me up," she said turning to Anderson, who had stayed silent until now.

"Anytime," he said with a smile, "did you get her number?"

Lia grinned at him, "Oh yeah, I got it," she said relaxing back into the seat and closing her eyes, smiling at the image of the bartender's face as she drifted off to sleep.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

><p>Yes I know, I got it out when I said I would! Who would have guessed?! Let's call it my Christmas present to all you amazing readers, old and new!<p>

I would really really like to hear from each one of you reading this as this obviously has a big chuck of original content in which being my baby I really need some feedback on what you think and feel about it! **Readers' comments and reviews are the biggest motivators for writers, so please take just a few minutes to let me know what you think.** Also thank you very much to the very kind people that took time to comment on the last chapter, it was a great motivator in getting this chapter finished before Christmas!

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas (if you celebrate it) and a great New Year! I look forward to reading your reviews and will see you again in the new year!

Jess


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